Gossip

[ash]

There must've been tons of topics on this but - I'm fairly new so...

I find it completely weird that those who are admittedly far from God seek to destroy those who seek God with their whole body and soul.

I don't know why it is that the admittedly lost people at CAK try their best to ruin a person who wants nothing more than to see God's face and bring Him glory above herself...

Why is it so hard to ignore gossip at school, at church?!?! It ruins relationships and damages reputations (especially when lies are what is being spread). So, what can we, as Christians, do to "stop" spreading the gossip and stand up for what's right in God's eyes?

We must "Get it."

[Vlad!]

I think gossips seek to do damage out of whatever emotion it is that guides them--jealousy, spite, malice, or disdain. Therefore, you can show that you're not affected by it. Not just that, but that you don't care about it. What is a more tempting target to a rumormonger than someone who gets flustered and runs around trying to quell the rumors? But if the target just shrugs it off and pays no attention, it will certainly die down after a while, especially if the rumor is false.

Therefore, Christians can combat gossip by:
-Not participating in it
-Not paying attention to it
-Not participating in gossip-worthy activities

[ash]

Vlad!

What if the rumor being spread is more than just a rumor? Meaning that it may escalade into something that is patheticly insane - like violece. There's a group at my school who is making life a living hell for me... leading worship next year, I believe, has triggered it to a new extent.

I tried "shrugging" it off, but they persisted and increased in their unbelievable gossip. I feel sick whenever I hear about it... my family can't even fathom what it is that I've supposedly done. NEVER before has something been so trying. This time around, at "real" school, I've tried extremely hard to keep a good reputation. It's shocking how easily that can be erased and paranoia sets in...

Bottom line - other than ignoring the problem, how does one (in a school like CAK) act toward them, address this when talking to friends, etc, etc? God is in control, I know it...

-ashes

[Vlad!]

Well, if the situation has devolved into violence, that is not acceptable...you should tell a teacher or the principal. I know many staff members there, and I'm sure they will be more than happy to help.

As for the emotional abuse, that can be tough. It's hard to shrug such things off. Have you tried the direct approach? Go to these people and ask them what the problem is. Tell them that you don't want to annoy them or make them mad, so if they could tell you why they are doing this, you would appreciate it. Explain that their actions are really hurting you. I believe I know the true reason...that when someone starts bringing the true light of Christ into a lukewarm environment, those who were just trying to skate along feel threatened.

Finally, emotional support is a good way to counter emotional abuse. Tell your friends and family what is going on, if you haven't already.  

[ash]

Since I didn't have a car, I had to tell my family Monday. My parents nearly pulled me out of school - meaning I would never be back. Thankfully, my parents have calmed down some. Some teachers know and the guidance counselor. But, they want me to go to the principal and I don't want it to go that far. I already feel like a burden to them. Evidently, things like this only happen once every few years here.

In a way, this has been a blessing in disguise. I have a new outlook on life because of this. I have more empathy toward others in similar situations. My Bible teacher was talking about God preparing you for His will through hard circumstances. I thought that was pretty awesome! =D

I'm afraid if I use the "direct approach" I might just break down and cry. I'm telling you, I never cry! Especially, with things that seem so pathetic as this does. I don't want to get them even more upset.

What does the Bible say about how we are to act toward people like this? The manipulative, be-my-friend while others are looking, hate you when their not, kind of people....?

[Vlad!]

[ash]

they know it effected me - I left school after lunch on Monday. They know - believe me. I don't think they know I know the extent of what they've done and said. Worse, two of them live in my neighborhood. I know God is in control; I pray this gets resolved somehow, soon.    8-)

Cry? Wouldn't that just give them immense satisfaction?!?!

[Vlad!]

Cry? Wouldn't that just give them immense satisfaction?!?!

I'm not telling you to cry, I'm just saying you shouldn't be ashamed. And maybe I don't understand these people, but I don't see how someone could be so inhuman as to, knowing how badly hurt his or her actions have made another, continue tormenting that person.

I'm not claiming that my answers are easy, but they're all I know to tell you. I'll be praying for you, and I hope you manage to change this situation somehow.

[MrsBear]

Since you say that your guidance counselor already knows, how about asking her to arrange a joint meeting with you and these other students?  She could be the mediator so you wouldn't have to do the confronting yourself and maybe she could impart some reason into their irrational behavior?

And on the other hand, take heart.  Jesus does indicate that when we are truly standing up for him, the world will hate us because it hates him. James tells us not to be surprised when fiery trials come upon us, and in fact tells us to count it all joy.  Think how many people appear to love Jesus when others are looking, but turn their backs on him when they think no one sees.  Maybe you are simply "know[ing] him in the ... fellowship of his sufferings"--and the encouragement here is that what goes in the ... part is "the power of his resurrection."  You do have his Spirit inside you, so he is hurting together with you and cares deeply.

[ash]

I don't know about a joint meeting; we talked about that and both of us said that would probably fuel any anger they hold... She's talked with them individually and if it stops there, I'll let it be.

If they keep going my mom wants to have a meeting with the principal. I probably wouldn't have said anything but, my family was there right after much of what they did - so I was quite shaken.

I hadn't thought about 90% of what you said, MrsBear (wonder who that could be...). I think a Christian may have a ton of knowledge in the Word and in God, but if it's not practiced it slowly leaves. I've never had to "practice" anything like this before, other than help people when they were in my situation. This has been extremely hard because I know it's more than the surface - it's a spiritual battle. Bottomline: I've learned to NEVER say anything bad about someone even if they are cruel to you... because it makes Jesus angry and ruins your own reputation and the other person's reputation.

Thanks all.  

[Skrappybiskit]

I feel for you... we just had a situation around here much like that. People just don't understand how much their words and actions affect other peoples emotions and such.