|
Josh
|
 |
« on: July 21, 2003, 11:17:58 PM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Vlad!
|
 |
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2003, 07:48:06 AM » |
|
Not too shabby. The meter is a little irregular, but when writing in rhymed couplets a meter that's overly consistent makes the poem seem singsongy and trite, which is certainly not what that poem deserves. Good work.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception. rms
|
|
|
|
beautifulmess
|
 |
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2003, 12:28:34 PM » |
|
I love this one. Hands down one of my favorites from you, next to your ghetto poem, of course.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
My Journal*My Poetry\"The quiche made me look fat.\" --Kirk, from Gilmore Girls when Lorelai asked why he was in a hot dog suit
|
|
|
|
kelliBJo
|
 |
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2003, 01:20:49 PM » |
|
ooooh, i like it a lot!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
\"broken down/ we're all so broken down/ bandages on our wings/ i know i don't have to tell you/ only broken hearts can sing\" ~ Over the Rhine
|
|
|
|
Emericana
|
 |
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2003, 01:52:02 PM » |
|
Nice. I look forward to your book...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Vlad!
|
 |
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2003, 02:06:12 PM » |
|
I love this one. Hands down one of my favorites from you, next to your ghetto poem, of course. Yeah, that ghetto poem was definitely his magnum opus
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception. rms
|
|
|
|
Josh
|
 |
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2003, 02:28:54 PM » |
|
I look forward to your book...
Actually, I am going to publish some books, though none of them of poetry. My first book is going to be called "How I Grew Closer to Jesus Christ by Listening to Obscene Music." The sequel: "How I Grew Closer to Jesus Christ Through Watching R-Rated Movies." Then I'll publish a collection of memoirs about being a critic, and it will be called something like "Your Album Sucks." Thanks for the praise, by the way, everyone. =)
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
beautifulmess
|
 |
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2003, 04:24:54 PM » |
|
Oh, the Christian bookstores are gonna hate you...
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: July 22, 2003, 04:39:37 PM by beautifulmess »
|
Logged
|
My Journal*My Poetry\"The quiche made me look fat.\" --Kirk, from Gilmore Girls when Lorelai asked why he was in a hot dog suit
|
|
|
|
Josh
|
 |
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2003, 09:16:14 PM » |
|
Don't worry; it's mutual.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Vlad!
|
 |
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2003, 09:25:45 PM » |
|
Hey, Christian bookstores have some value. I mean, where else can you...er...buy some...hmm. Let's see. Oh! You can...no, that won't work. Hm..nevermind.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception. rms
|
|
|
|
Josh
|
 |
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2003, 09:29:34 PM » |
|
Something about overpriced Jesus merchandise just doesn't seem right...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DvChWi
|
 |
« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2003, 09:29:46 PM » |
|
Hey, Christian bookstores have some value. I mean, where else can you...er...buy some...hmm. Let's see. Oh! You can...no, that won't work. Hm..nevermind. Where else can you buy Testamints?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Fun facts about Chuck Norris:
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
|
|
|
|
Vlad!
|
 |
« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2003, 08:00:14 AM » |
|
See, there you go! Overpriced Jesus merchandise! Cliche products, faith condensed into a cheesy slogan, and meaningful theology converted into a 'cash cow' the becomes t-shirts, bumper stickers, and a multi-million dollar industry! Christian bookstores serve as an example of how NOT to do things! Ha, I knew they had a purpose
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: July 23, 2003, 08:00:25 AM by Vlad! »
|
Logged
|
If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception. rms
|
|
|
|