Things people do that make no sense

[enemy anemone]

is now the time for an internet argument about what is and isn't porn?

(let's don't and say we did.)

[murlough23]

is now the time for an internet argument about what is and isn't porn?

Nah. Whatever you define it as, the Internet's there to help you find it.

[Brenden]

It seems every time I get on the road there's some idiot who decides to tailgate me for a couple miles, hoping I'll go faster. Meanwhile, there is another lane he could get into and just go around me, since I'm usually already speeding and don't plan on going any faster.

I do not understand the logic of this. Surely it would be easier to just go around me in the handy second lane, rather than just getting on my bumber and trying to get me to speed even more than I already am.

[Vlad!]

I hate it when people get on my bumber.

This bugs me too. Often it happens when the person behind you wants to turn right soon and thus doesn't feel like passing you is worth the effort, but still wants to go faster and thus tailgates you. Or sometimes it happens just because the person behind you is a jerk or just plain inattentive.

(The one ticket I've gotten in North Carolina was actually for tailgating, but it was one lane in each direction, the person in front of me was going 10 under, and the only reason I tailgated is because I saw the cop coming up behind me really fast and I thought "man, I better speed up or he's going to rear-end me". Of course, he didn't buy it. Jerk.)

[Brenden]

I hate it when people get on my bumper.

This bugs me too. Often it happens when the person behind you wants to turn right soon and thus doesn't feel like passing you is worth the effort, but still wants to go faster and thus tailgates you. Or sometimes it happens just because the person behind you is a jerk or just plain inattentive.

See, this happens when I'm speeding in the left lane as well. It's not like all the traffic is blazing by me, I'm keeping pace. There are just people who want to go even faster and they decide to stay behind me flashing their lights for me to speed up rather than going around me. As someone who has already gotten a speeding ticket this year, (For going 41 down a hill in a weird area where it's 30 one way and 35 the other) I don't want to speed so much that I get pulled over again.

[murlough23]

See, this happens when I'm speeding in the left lane as well. It's not like all the traffic is blazing by me, I'm keeping pace.

That's a regular daily occurrence in Los Angeles. "Keeping pace" here is generally 10 over the speed limit already. And some jackass wants to go even faster than that? Better to let 'em by so they don't rear-end you if you have to slam on the brakes suddenly when some other jackass spills the coffee he's drinking while texting someone on his cell phone.

[murlough23]

There's a local supermarket chain where the checkout clerks or baggers will always ask if you need help carrying your groceries to your car. I think they must be required to ask it of every customer, regardless of the size of their purchase, because I've even been asked this for one bag of light groceries in the express lane. It was especially ridiculous the other day when we dropped in to pick up a single bell pepper that we'd forgotten to buy earlier for a recipe we were making. The guy asked if I needed any help with it. It's alright, man, I got this one.

[Vlad!]

At the local grocery store, the clerks are supposed to ask a whole slew of questions:
* Do you want paper or plastic? (paper, unless I remembered to bring in my own canvas bags)
* Did you find everything ok? (yes, because as discussed before I have no desire to engage the sales drone in a discussion about why I couldn't locate the sauerkraut).
* Do you want your meat in a plastic bag? (if I am buying meat and asked for paper)
* Do you need help bringing this out to your car?

They also are supposed to tell me how much I saved by allowing them to gather data on my purchases and correlate them with my demographic, which is what they do with those silly cards.

They usually forget to ask at least one of these things, and if they manage them all they will forget to tell me how much I saved.

[murlough23]

Now see, if I was a bigger jerk than I already am, I would have gone through the checkout line empty-handed, made him find my bell pepper for me, and then made him carry it to my car, just to illustrate the futility of some of these questions in certain circumstances.

I don't mean to give people a hard time for trying to be nice. Just trying to illustrate that sometimes common sense dictates you can deviate from "reading from the script". The fact that someone doesn't usually indicates that their mind really isn't on their work. To be fair, mine probably wouldn't be either, if I was doing a repetitive task such as that all day. I'd be begging for the walk out to someone's car just to break up the monotony (though I'd pay for it when I got back and my express lane had piled up).

[Vlad!]

Things my brain does that make no sense:

One of the weirdest things is my perpetual battle to get myself to notice things I need to do.

I have a small counter next to the door into my garage. I put things on it I need to remember to take to work or church. Unfortunately, this doesn't always work, as I will sometimes walk right by it without a glance. If I *really* need to remember something, I'll put it on the floor in front of the door. I used to put it in my car, but I tend to forget that this thing in my car is something I need to take action on and leave it in the car. Though at least then it's in the right zip code.

Today I needed to put a letter in the outgoing mail bin at work, but I had to go to a meeting first. I put the letter in my back pocket. It wasn't until just now I realized that the letter was still in my back pocket. Fortunately, pickup is at 2pm.

I like to think of myself as both observant and organized, so the fact that I so frequently fail to be either is kind of disconcerting.

[murlough23]

Vlad!, I have that same battle. It is immensely frustrating. I will put things in my car, my backpack, right by the front door, etc., in the hopes that I will remember to bring them somewhere, use them, etc., and because I tend to keep the daily routine as streamlined as possible, any planned deviation from it is generally forgotten. I'm usually better about keeping appointments with friends and stuff, because there's another person there to remind me on the day of. But with random tasks that don't happen on a schedule, I can even think 15-20 minutes ahead of time, "I need to remember to do this when I get home from the office", and by the time I get home, my train of thought is so far gone from whatever the task was, that I completely forget about it.

Ironically, I'll usually remember something I wanted to do at home while I'm on my way to the office, or vice versa. This generally leads to me smacking myself on the forehead and shouting "Idiot!", which must look like it makes no sense to the guy in the car next to me.

Also: I tend to forget about debts. I'm a good person to borrow money from for that reason.

[enemy anemone]

I put the letter in my back pocket. It wasn't until just now I realized that the letter was still in my back pocket.

"Bilbo...the ring is still in your pocket."

I think odd tasks like taking mail out or taking other things elsewhere nag at me and stay at the front of my mind until I get them done. it gets to the point where I'm snippy if I get additional requests or am otherwise distracted. "don't talk to me! I'm busy! I have to take this letter to the mailbox!"

[Vlad!]

For (apparently) aesthetic reasons, all the mailboxes in my neighborhood are clumped at the end of the street, so I usually bring letters into work and mail them. If it were just a case of taking it to the mailbox, I think even I could manage that without mishap (so long as I didn't see anything shiny).

Murlough, the same thing happens to me. I'll be driving home, and by the time I get home I forget what I needed to do (or I get home and *then* remember I wanted to stop by the grocery store). This is especially pathetic since I live about seven minutes from work. However, I go home late, take back roads, and drive fast, so most of my mental processes are focused on not hitting a deer rather than my todo list.

[murlough23]

For (apparently) aesthetic reasons, all the mailboxes in my neighborhood are clumped at the end of the street, so I usually bring letters into work and mail them. If it were just a case of taking it to the mailbox, I think even I could manage that without mishap (so long as I didn't see anything shiny).

My old apartment had no apparent location to place outgoing mail. I had to remember to take stuff to the post office, or drop it in the outgoing mailbox at work. it was such a pain, and I would often have Netflix DVDs hanging around for weeks after they'd been watched, clogging up my queue, because I'd forget to mail them back.

Murlough, the same thing happens to me. I'll be driving home, and by the time I get home I forget what I needed to do (or I get home and *then* remember I wanted to stop by the grocery store). This is especially pathetic since I live about seven minutes from work. However, I go home late, take back roads, and drive fast, so most of my mental processes are focused on not hitting a deer rather than my todo list.

There was this great commercial  saw once, where a guy is out shopping and doing miscellaneous errands, and he keeps seeing billboards and other ads for milk. Then he gets home, and as soon as he walks in the door with all of his bags, he has a "DOH!" moment and then: "got milk?" This is totally what it's like when I go shopping. I grab a bunch of things but forget the one main item I went out to shop for.

I think my problem is that I always seem to have multiple thought processes running in my mind at once. So I'll get off on another train of thought and forget what I was originally planning to do. I can be really focused on something that is engrossing or entertaining, like a video game or music. But run-of-the-mill to-do list stuff, I have to write it down or otherwise leave reminders that can't be ignored, such as setting a cell phone alarm.

My Mom has told me that I was "the absent-minded professor" even when I was a kid. I was never diagnosed with ADD or anything, but sometimes I really wonder. Either that or it's early Alzheimer's. Getting old is really gonna suck for me.

[Vlad!]

Getting old is really gonna suck for me.

Whatever, dude, you are old.

[murlough23]

Whatever, dude, you are old.

That sure explains a lot.

[Brenden]

I keep hoping someone can explain why they find Jackass the least bit funny without sounding stupid. Everything I've seen has made me think more of America's Funniest Home Videos, but with severe brain damage.

[murlough23]

I keep hoping someone can explain why they find Jackass the least bit funny without sounding stupid. Everything I've seen has made me think more of America's Funniest Home Videos, but with severe brain damage.

And there's your explanation.

[Brenden]

It was an MTV show, after all.

[Aaron]

It was an MTV show, after all.

Don't hate on MTV.  Who didn't love Remote Control and singled out?????? OMG! 

[Vlad!]

Latest thing which bugs me: calling a Bluetooth headset a 'bluetooth'.

Example from the field:
Q: Does this phone support bluetooth?
A: Yes, it supports it but it doesn't come with one.

This caused me to go o_O until I realized that what the answerer meant was "it supports a bluetooth headset but doesn't come with one".

Bluetooth is the name of the protocol, and it supports all sorts of peripherals--it can even be used to establish computer-to-computer connections. My freaking car speaks Bluetooth, and it is neither blue nor particularly toothsome.

Thus, this phrase, if uttered unironically, will probably make my head explode:
"OMG, I was updating my Facebook when I thought I heard some guy talking to himself, but it turned out he was using a bluetooth".

[murlough23]

Here in L.A., we often comment that it's hard to tell the difference between homeless people and folks using Bluetooth headsets. Though the 'toothers will generally be better dressed.

[Vlad!]

...which is the difference between LA and Silicon Valley, in which the homeless people will generally be better dressed.

[murlough23]

...which is the difference between LA and Silicon Valley, in which the homeless people will generally be better dressed.

Man. I'm scared to laugh. That one literally hits close to home.

I heard an Indian comedian once talking about passing a homeless guy in Delhi, who was begging for change on the street. As he walked by, he heard a phone ring, and suddenly the homeless dude puts on a headset and whips out a laptop from under his blanket. "This is Dell tech support, how may I help you?"

[Vlad!]

One of the things I liked about the Valley when I was there is that it was by necessity a lot more egalitarian. In most places, you see well-dressed people being treated with more respect than poorly-dressed people. I saw a dude dressed worse than I was get into a Ferrari when I was in Mountain View. I generally wear t-shirt, sandals, and baggy cargo pants, and when I walk into stores the salespeople are usually more concerned about keeping me from stealing things than helping me find what I'm looking for. Over there, they assumed I was well-off enough that I could afford to dress like I didn't care.

(Which reminds me of when I bought my television. I walk into hh Gregg and stand there for about half an hour looking at TVs. The salespeople are jumping all over everyone else, but nobody's even talking to me. When I'm ready to buy, I buy the most expensive TV in the store, and the guy is getting ready to deny me credit until I plop down cash for it, at which point I thought he was going to have a heart attack. In my admittedly limited experience, this sort of thing would never happen in Silicon Valley, because it would just be assumed that a casually-dressed guy in an electronics store is an engineer who could buy an appreciable portion of the store's inventory without even having to sell any stock options.)

[murlough23]

I generally wear t-shirt, sandals, and baggy cargo pants, and when I walk into stores the salespeople are usually more concerned about keeping me from stealing things than helping me find what I'm looking for. Over there, they assumed I was well-off enough that I could afford to dress like I didn't care.

That's L.A. for you. Some people pay good money to look like they just rolled out of bed. Which obviously makes no sense.

[enemy anemone]

yesterday the landlord replaced our broken mailbox but threw the old one away without thinking to check if there was mail in there. I do not comprehend this.

along the same lines as "I have a twitter", I have seen people talking about "making a tumblr", meaning signing up for a tumblr account.

the bluetooth thing made me think about GPS.  I often find myself thinking of the device as "a GPS" and then thinking "no, it is not a global positioning system, just a receiver-gizmo-thingamabob for the system." so I call it "a GPS thing" or "a GPS gizmo", often with a corresponding hand motion, I don't know why.

[murlough23]

along the same lines as "I have a twitter", I have seen people talking about "making a tumblr", meaning signing up for a tumblr account.

I have a co-worker who refers to the people who post on Twitter as "Twits". I think no further explanation is necessary.

so I call it "a GPS thing" or "a GPS gizmo", often with a corresponding hand motion, I don't know why.

I make a completely unnecessary hand motion when ordering coffee. As if the size of my cupped hands really makes "medium" any clearer.

[enemy anemone]

lately I've been seeing the word "paypal" to mean "money in my paypal account", I guess. like "please buy these things--I need some paypal!" 

[Vlad!]

You might consider using WePay. They seem to be less evil (or perhaps just less stupid) than PayPal.

[enemy anemone]

"please buy my things; I need some WePay!"

[murlough23]

A case of something that really didn't make any sense, even though I could see the person was trying to be nice and do me a favor. I bought a latte at Seattle's Best Coffee this morning, and the barista charged me for an ice blended drink even though the one I ordered was hot. Since there's a price difference, she noticed her own mistake and offered to remake the drink and refund the money, before I even thought to bring it up. She went back to the cash register and retrieved one single solitary nickel, and handed it back with an extra receipt. I proceeded to quip: "Seriously, you went to all that trouble for five cents?" I said this in a way to make it clear that I was amused, not annoyed. I then added: "Well, at least you didn't have to charge it back to my card." (I had paid with my debit card.)

The irony of the whole situation is, if I had realized the error before she started remaking the drink, I would have been fine drinking the ice blended. I normally order cold coffee beverages anyway, but changed up my usual habit today because it was slightly colder outside than usual (for us Southern California residents, that means it was in the 60s). I kind of feel bad now that so much waste happened over a simple mistake caused by two very similar buttons being adjacent to each other on a computer screen.

In retrospect, I really should have left the extra nickel as a tip.

[AldaForPresident]

People in my World Lit class are always saying "I didn't read this, I just Spark-noted it" or "Did you Spark-note it?" UGH, it drives me insane, because it makes no sense, it sounds ridiculous, it's awkward to say (I would imagine, I've never actually said it), and people who never bother to read and just use Spark Notes all semester and still make As or Bs infuriate me.

[murlough23]

Nouns are getting verbed these days. I suggest we all learn to live with it.

[enemy anemone]

oh crap, this thread has just been murloughed.

[murlough23]

oh crap, this thread has just been murloughed.

I think we should save "murloughed" for a much more significant event... like the dropping of a poorly-timed, colossally awful joke into an otherwise meaningful and productive conversation.

[Vlad!]

people who never bother to read and just use Spark Notes all semester and still make As or Bs infuriate me.

If it makes you feel any better, those of us who actually read and retained the material will reap rewards later in life when we can quote from it in appropriate situations, making others who read it recognize our genius and those who read the Cliff's Notes (or modern online alternative) feel inferior.

(Because that's all that classic literature is good for: making yourself feel good and others feel inferior.)

Seriously, though, SparkNotes and other sources are sort of like Wikipedia: as crowd-sourced intelligence, some can be remarkably insightful, some can be downright wrong, and most are merely adequate. Also, all of them are a poor substitute for thinking for yourself. I recommend reading the work, spending time thinking about it and what it signifies, then reading the SparkNotes page on it, then thinking about whether what's on the page jives with what you got from the work, possibly going back and re-reading sections you don't remember especially well. If the summary gives a good point you didn't glean from the text, that's fine; in the future, you can try to learn from this and be attentive to the cues you missed before. If the text doesn't seem to support the summary but you're not sure, maybe talk to the teacher about it. My mom's an English teacher (both literature and composition), and she would be thrilled if one of her students came up to her and said "the SparkNotes section on The Merchant of Venice said that the play is indicative of deep-seated cultural racism and xenophobia, but I think that's a modern projection of our own values onto their society, because the play itself doesn't seem to support that. What do you think?"

Or, if that seems like too much work, also feel free to continue reading the text and feeling morally superior to those who just read the summaries.

[AldaForPresident]

I recommend reading the work, spending time thinking about it and what it signifies, then reading the SparkNotes page on it, then thinking about whether what's on the page jives with what you got from the work, possibly going back and re-reading sections you don't remember especially well. If the summary gives a good point you didn't glean from the text, that's fine; in the future, you can try to learn from this and be attentive to the cues you missed before.

This is the way every teacher I've ever had has suggested using Spark/Cliff's Notes, and while I usually try to use the library's literary criticism journals if I don't understand something, if I'm at home I can't do that, and I definitely get that most people don't want to do any research that's not required for a core class. What I don't understand is being too lazy to read twenty or thirty pages in the first place, or the people that don't read, come in to class, sit down and demand to be given the "two-minute version" of King Lear, which happened to me last week.

Or, if that seems like too much work, also feel free to continue reading the text and feeling morally superior to those who just read the summaries.

I'm an English major so I really never tire of feeling morally superior to people who just read the summaries. I do get pissed when they make As on reading quizzes, but at those times I try to bask in the knowledge that my papers will be better, every time.

[Vlad!]

Where I went to school, engineers have to take special versions of many required classes ("Chemistry for engineers" rather than just "Chemistry", for instance). Maybe they should have "Lit for Liberal Arts Majors" which, like the engineering science/math classes, is graded harder and taught more rigorously than the one taken by the general masses.

(I talk a lot of junk to my mom about choosing a major which restricted her to essentially a single profession (I am not counting "wage slave" as a profession), but she loves teaching and has been doing it for almost thirty years now, so I guess if that's your thing then it's great.)

[murlough23]

Where I went to school, engineers have to take special versions of many required classes ("Chemistry for engineers" rather than just "Chemistry", for instance). Maybe they should have "Lit for Liberal Arts Majors" which, like the engineering science/math classes, is graded harder and taught more rigorously than the one taken by the general masses.

The show Community has spoofed that a couple times, with the implication being that it's a community college, so there are a lot of easy A classes for people who don't really want to learn. Like the class where the teacher doesn't want them to turn in any work but just grades them on how well they seize the day, a la Dead Poets Society. (We only find out midway through the episode that it's an accounting class.)