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« on: July 27, 2008, 07:07:32 AM » |
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My beautiful 11yr old sister, Bryanna, comes up with the oddest sayings. She has a few wires loose or something and often mis-hears things (Example: Dad called her a cello-caddy once and she asked him what an electra no-no was. She still vows that's what he said), usually to comic effect. She keeps us laughing anyways, and I thought you might appreciate a few of her Bryanna-isms.
Her latest thing:
Did you know that Joseph (Of Joseph and Mary fame, not the other one) was a carpet layer? She is absolutely sure he was, I mean, he was a carpeter, wasn't he? Renata (15yr old sister) tried to explain that he made furniture or built houses instead, and she got this incredulous look on her face "Out of carpet?"
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« Last Edit: August 11, 2008, 08:08:28 PM by Vlad! »
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Vlad!
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« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2008, 01:20:17 PM » |
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Heh. "Out of carpet?"
Interestingly, the Greek word that the KJV translated as "carpenter" would be more accurately written "builder". As homes of that day were made of stone, it is more likely that our Lord was a stonemason rather than a woodworker.
Yet another thing that the scholars of King James' day got wrong and which has created a myth that persists to this day.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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who me?
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« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2008, 05:53:02 PM » |
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Ah well, that wouldn't surprise me. I don't even think it really matters, the point was that he bacamee an ordinary family man [Note: I said family man, not husband/father] and labourer.
This is todays:
[Bryanna] "Is this house on a curve? It must be, because the world curves.
[me] "Not really, the ground is flattened to build a house, and while the Earth curves, it's so big you don't really notice."
[Bryanna] "Is that what hills and mountains are? Part of the curves?"
[me] Not completely. They're more like bumps on top of the Earth"
[Bryanna] They're like pimples! The world has pimples!"
*pause*
[Bryanna] "..I live on a pimple.. that's scary!"
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Vlad!
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« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2008, 07:07:57 PM » |
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Ah well, that wouldn't surprise me. I don't even think it really matters, the point was that he bacamee an ordinary family man
That is the oddest spelling of 'became' I have ever seen (though, this being the Internet, possibly not the oddest one I will ever see). |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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who me?
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« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2008, 07:46:55 PM » |
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That is the oddest spelling of 'became' I have ever seen (though, this being the Internet, possibly not the oddest one I will ever see).
*sigh* My bad. Typos are rapidly becoming my thing, I'm afraid. |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2008, 08:09:43 PM » |
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I have rechristened this thread as "amusing quotations" for anyone who has encountered (or even produced) funny things worth sharing.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2008, 04:59:48 PM » |
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A co-worker was explaining to another co-worker how he got the nickname "Chupi". He said "you know that 'chupacabra' means 'goat sucker' in Spanish, right?"
Her response: "they have a word for that?"
I don't think it means what she thought it meant...
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2008, 02:18:50 PM » |
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We were screwing around at work today with a remote controlled helicopter. One guy who was on a conference call goes "that thing is fucking loud". Then there was some noise from the phone and he goes "oops, I wasn't muted when I said that".
Let's hope the other participants weren't anyone important.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2008, 02:21:23 PM » |
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"the cookie doesn't care if the dog has rabies!"
"the cookie is in my stomach! it feels safe because it is dead!"
(discussing the feelings of food takes you down a strange road.)
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2008, 01:15:02 PM » |
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"I can't think in my head."
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Vlad!
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« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2008, 07:57:19 AM » |
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A friend of mine went to an international conference in Texas affiliated with the ICOC. One of the classes he attended was on effective communication with members of the opposite sex. When he got back and I asked him about his classes, he told me that he really liked the one on sexual relations. Apparently my facial expression was enough to send him laughing for a good minute or two. I think he needs a bit more work on effective communication with the same sex  |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2008, 09:26:25 AM » |
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On the internal "for sale" e-mail list at the company I work for, some guy was selling some pool cues. Apparently these aren't your average pool cue; he went to great lengths to describe every possible physical detail about these wooden sticks, including the pool championships he played in with them and the names of the "craftsmen" who refurbished them. He is selling them for four hundred dollars.
A guy replied to that e-mail saying "I usually just use an old broom handle".
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #12 on: September 20, 2008, 11:54:53 AM » |
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When I saw these screenshots of Order of Ecclesia, I noted that a lot of them feature a woman swinging around abnormally large weapons. I sent an e-mail to a fellow Castlevania lover with a subject line something like "zomg, her weapons are huge", not really thinking. Apparently that caused a o_O reaction. |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2008, 03:21:06 PM » |
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"don't worry, it's just fish nostrils."
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murlough23
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« Reply #14 on: September 24, 2008, 05:10:52 PM » |
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My wife, who is part Japanese, can never remember Japanese names. We have a friend whose last name is "Kawaratani". No matter how many times I remind her of the woman's name and how to pronounce it, my wife always refers to her as "Naka-whatevers". (Her first name's easy to remember, but we know more than one person by that name, so she uses "Naka-whatevers" to differentiate. Shoot, if you're gonna mangle somebody's name, at least get the first couple letters right!)
She's also decided that two neighborhood stray cats who are sometimes seen scampering about near our apartment (probably stalking our cat) should be named "Itchy and Bitchy". She doesn't normally have the foul mouth that I do, so this quite amusing statement caught me off guard.
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2008, 05:27:19 PM » |
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that's pretty funny. she got the "kawa" in there, and in a creative way. last night my mom (who spells out "butt" or "damn", even when relating that someone else said the words) said "bitch" like 9 times.  we were talking about Hemingway and she mentioned how he threw Gertrude Stein's "a rose is a rose is a rose" in her face with "a bitch is a bitch is a bitch". |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #16 on: September 24, 2008, 05:33:44 PM » |
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last night my mom (who spells out "butt" or "damn", even when relating that someone else said the words) said "bitch" like 9 times. we were talking about Hemingway and she mentioned how he threw Gertrude Stein's "a rose is a rose is a rose" in her face with "a bitch is a bitch is a bitch". In her defense, Gertrude Stein really had it coming. In a hopefully-not-too-self-righteous side note, I don't understand why people say that 'damn' is a tame word or isn't really a curse word. It's a very offensive concept, and while in certain contexts I might say words considered vulgar (and worse than damn), I won't say damn and certainly won't direct it at anybody. |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2008, 05:55:33 PM » |
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In her defense, Gertrude Stein really had it coming. ??? why did she have it coming, and how is that statement "in her defense"? (I am not familiar with the situation; I only heard about it in passing last night.) In a hopefully-not-too-self-righteous side note, I don't understand why people say that 'damn' is a tame word or isn't really a curse word. It's a very offensive concept, and while in certain contexts I might say words considered vulgar (and worse than damn), I won't say damn and certainly won't direct it at anybody.
but when speaking out loud, would you say "I won't say 'd-a-m-n'"? I did lump "damn" with "butt", not because I think they are the same level of badness but because I have heard my mom spell out these particular words when talking about them. not using them, but talking about them. so it surprised me to hear her say "bitch", even in a quote, 9 times. |
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murlough23
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« Reply #18 on: September 24, 2008, 05:57:33 PM » |
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In a hopefully-not-too-self-righteous side note, I don't understand why people say that 'damn' is a tame word or isn't really a curse word. It's a very offensive concept, and while in certain contexts I might say words considered vulgar (and worse than damn), I won't say damn and certainly won't direct it at anybody. I've learned over the years that the list of "bad words" is a rather fluid one that varies based on geographic location and subculture, as well as time. I tend to modify my own personal word list based on who I'm around and what they consider to be acceptable... when I'm by myself, I'm pretty vulgar and I probably blurt out things that don't even make sense when somebody pisses me off in traffic. Because I realize this about myself, I try to be more lenient than others. But if the actual meaning of the words is offensive, then I take issue with it. I'm not a big fan of the f-word, but I tend to let it slide if it's just superlative. I'm really offended by "F you", or the word used to denote having sexual intercourse with somebody. Not so much when somebody indicates that they're screwed. I don't have a problem with "damn". I wouldn't direct it at a person unless it was clear that I was expressing mock annoyance and not seriously angry at them. But I direct it at inanimate objects that annoy me all the time, because I do honestly and truly wish that they could be eternally cast into a lake of fire. (I don't think there's a state of eternal perdition for inanimate objects - but it can also mean condemnation in the sense of an old building being condemned. It's faulty, useless, annoying, an eyesore - it deserves to be destroyed.) But there are all kinds of uses of "damn" that really make no grammatical sense. It's an expression of surprise, positive or negative. "Hot damn!" means something is really awesome, apparently. Or it's just there for emphasis - "the whole damn thing". NP: "Love Dog", TV on the Radio |
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murlough23
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« Reply #19 on: September 24, 2008, 05:58:56 PM » |
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I did lump "damn" with "butt", not because I think they are the same level of badness but because I have heard my mom spell out these particular words when talking about them. not using them, but talking about them. so it surprised me to hear her say "bitch", even in a quote, 9 times. Your mom is bitchin'. Your mom is bitching. Note how those two sentences have completely different meanings. |
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murlough23
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« Reply #21 on: September 24, 2008, 06:12:46 PM » |
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 I even have difficulty comprehending that anybody would talk about my mom that way! *either* way! Your mom isn't awesome? And she never complains? I find that hard to believe. |
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #22 on: September 24, 2008, 07:31:35 PM » |
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my momma's bitchin' cuz she ain't bitching!
I just need to add something about a pregnant dog and a knitting/sewing group (stitch 'n bitch) and I think I've got a song.
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murlough23
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« Reply #23 on: September 24, 2008, 07:34:12 PM » |
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my momma's bitchin' cuz she ain't bitching!
I just need to add something about a pregnant dog and a knitting/sewing group (stitch 'n bitch) and I think I've got a song.
Is it a rap song? Because all songs about bitches are rap songs. Maybe you could call your group "Skee-lo & Bitch". |
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #24 on: September 24, 2008, 07:37:39 PM » |
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if my band is going to do rap then I think we also need a song about gardening tools/Santa's laugh. oh and Elizabethan breeches.
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murlough23
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« Reply #25 on: September 24, 2008, 07:46:29 PM » |
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if my band is going to do rap then I think we also need a song about gardening tools/Santa's laugh. You should count how many of them you have. Tally ho! oh and Elizabethan breeches. Eh, you lost me there. NP: "Addicted", P.O.D. |
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #26 on: September 24, 2008, 07:52:57 PM » |
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Elizabethan breeches = hose. just to give the garden hose some company.
lederhosen could also be included but that would be kind of a stretch. or not--I don't imagine they are very stretchy.
the song could be called something like Hoes (or Hose or Hos) 'N B'itches (breeches is pronounced britches).
there's also the snack cake to consider. but I find those to be vulgar.
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« Last Edit: September 24, 2008, 07:58:55 PM by schilleriana »
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Vlad!
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« Reply #27 on: September 24, 2008, 08:52:14 PM » |
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??? why did she have it coming, and how is that statement "in her defense"? (I am not familiar with the situation; I only heard about it in passing last night.)
DANGLING ANTECEDENT OF DOOM. In your mom's defense, Gertrude Stein had it coming. Figuratively speaking, she was kind of a bitch. |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #28 on: September 24, 2008, 09:13:45 PM » |
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okay...but my mom wasn't calling Stein a bitch--she was relating how Hemingway called her one and that he used her phrasing to do so. (and I'm not clear on why he did--she was his mentor for a while but then she criticized him or something so he turned against her?)
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Vlad!
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« Reply #29 on: September 25, 2008, 09:26:28 AM » |
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Scott Hanselman said: === ...the presentation that has clicked with me the most was Leon's F# eye for the C# guy PowerPoint. Scandalous, I know, as you may know Leon as the cruel bully who called me Hanselgirl in public recently at TechEd Australia. I promptly boxed his ears (it was more of a slap-fight actually) and there was also a public arm-wrestling. Between the two of us I'm sure there was the potential to splice together one normal-sized male arm, but I digress. === For some reason that set me to giggling. |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #30 on: October 09, 2008, 03:48:34 PM » |
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A: What happened to my old T41? B: You gave it to me. A: Really? That doesn't sound like me. Did you give me anything in return? B: No. A: That definitely doesn't sound like me. Are you sure you're not confusing me with someone who's not an ass? |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #31 on: October 26, 2008, 04:03:58 PM » |
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I had the misfortune of substitute-teaching for the 3rd-graders today at church. When class was nearly over, one of the little girls came up to me, and we had this conversation:
Her: How old are you?
Me: 25. How old are you?
Her: 8. When I'm 25, you will be....thinks deeply...one hundred and thirty two.
Me: Ahem, are you sure you don't mean 33?
Her: Running back to her seat One hundred thirty twoooooo!
I was once a child (and not a particularly well-behaved one at that), but I swear I never know what if anything is going on in their heads.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #32 on: October 26, 2008, 04:08:46 PM » |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #33 on: October 28, 2008, 07:50:36 AM » |
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Yes, I do realize (and probably should have mentioned  ) that the quote is doubly-amusing, first because of the awkward kid and second because I was clearly so nonplussed by the whole situation that my basic math skills failed me utterly. |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #34 on: November 04, 2008, 02:33:08 PM » |
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Co-worker [looking at craigslist]: I've never heard of the Ford Scort before.
Me: Ford Scort?
Him: Yeah, it says it multiple times.
Him: I guess the previous owner pried the 'e' off and the seller doesn't know any better.
Me: *lol*
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #35 on: November 10, 2008, 04:12:35 PM » |
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Co-worker: With your hair, and your beard, and your attitude, you should be working in San Francisco.
Me: Are you saying I'm a hippie or that I'm gay?
Her: Hippie.
Me: It's a sad day when I'm relieved to just be called a hippie.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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who me?
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« Reply #36 on: November 14, 2008, 02:04:26 AM » |
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Bryanna to me: I'm going to prostitute you!
Turned out she meant prosecute.
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #37 on: November 14, 2008, 02:16:28 AM » |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #38 on: November 18, 2008, 02:25:48 PM » |
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As we established in the grammar thread, computer programmers making a hundred grand a year sometimes still have terrible grammar:
*Co-worker walks by without a coat on*
Me: Was I hallucinating, or were you wearing a suit coat earlier today?
Him: Yes I am.
Me: o_O
Him: Er, was.
Me: VERB TENSE'D
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #39 on: November 18, 2008, 02:26:41 PM » |
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Wait, computer programmers can make 100 grand a year? What the hell am I doing wrong?
NP: "Gone", PfR
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