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leinad
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« Reply #240 on: December 15, 2009, 01:13:02 AM » |
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Me: Remember in elementary school when... (I don't even recall now what this was about)
M: Stop living in the past.
The funny thing is that this conversation happened over nine years ago.
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Vlad!
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« Reply #241 on: December 15, 2009, 09:42:53 AM » |
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A: It cracks me up when people say "oh-ten" for 2010.
Me: But there is an oh, after all.
A: People never said "oh-ninety-nine".
Me: ...because there wasn't an oh. It was 1999.
A: ...damn, you're right.
Me: Of course, they didn't say "nine ninety-nine either".
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #242 on: December 15, 2009, 01:21:07 PM » |
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Just saying "ten" sounds weird by itself. Of course, it sounds neater to say "twenty-ten" than it would to say "twenty-oh-nine", even though I'm sure that ticks off some math purists.
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Vlad!
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« Reply #243 on: December 16, 2009, 01:45:27 PM » |
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A: Stop. Hammertime.
B: What does Hammertime mean?
Me: Woah. She doesn't know about Hammertime?
A: I don't know how many caves there are in India, but you were apparently living in all of them. At once.
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rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #244 on: December 16, 2009, 05:58:20 PM » |
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A: You know what sucks?
Me: Living your entire life as an introverted misanthrope and then dying alone and unloved?
A: ...
A: I was going to say "paper cuts", but now I'm going to go back to my cube and cry for a while.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #245 on: December 16, 2009, 06:00:08 PM » |
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Wow. I would have said "vacuums".
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Vlad!
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« Reply #246 on: December 20, 2009, 01:16:37 PM » |
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<I'm at church talking with a teenager about his sister who's a couple years older than I am>
A: You think she's nice and all, but you don't have to live with her. I have to live with her.
Me: Yes, but you should realize, she also has to live with you.
A: No, I'm cool. It's not a problem to live with me.
Me: Ah, the arrogance of youth.
*I make a mental note to send another thank-you card to my mother for not smothering me when I was a kid, which is no doubt what I deserved*
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #247 on: December 22, 2009, 09:33:10 AM » |
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<A shows up dressed in a collared shirt, sweater vest, and dress pants>
B: A, is that you?
A: Yes.
B: But you're dressed so nicely!
A: I'm just dressed up. Is that so strange?
B: It is!
Me: He likes to do that occasionally just to mess with us.
A: Everything I do is designed specifically to mess with Nathan.
Me: I knew it!
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #248 on: December 23, 2009, 04:21:01 PM » |
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Context: A website that we manage called "Night Sky Network", crashed today when a router crapped out on us. We also run another website for the Cassini mission, which is simply called "Saturn", which miraculously survived the outage. The following Email discussion between us and the customer we host the site for was spawned by the outage.
Co-worker: One thing I discussed with [Customer] earlier is that Saturn managed to stay up during this outage -- showing that indeed the set-up for that is different (and works as we would hope Night Sky would have).
Customer: Glad to hear "that Saturn managed to stay up"...Having that whirl out of its orbit and go reeling toward the Sun would have been rather more catastrophic than a down website.... (sorry, I couldn't resist)
Me: Yeah, but we would have brought down the entire Night Sky... and nobody would have believed us because of that Chicken Little movie.
Customer: I love the day before a 2-week vacation....
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eatenbytehworms
Inphrequent Poster
Posts: 67
Stolen Water is Sweet
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« Reply #249 on: December 24, 2009, 02:07:15 PM » |
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"Burning down neverland, SKATTLEYATCHES!" - Anberlin's Stephen Christian twins
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My friend and I are sledding down my mountain of a front yard. When I almost crash at the bottom of the hill, my foot almost meets his face. He just calmly looks at me and says "Good idea. I should have worn long socks, too."
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Vlad!
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« Reply #250 on: January 04, 2010, 10:39:21 AM » |
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<Some of this story has been changed around a bit to respect anonymity, but the general thrust is the same. Note that one of the groups at my company used to be called 'Network Automation' but is now called 'Network Quality Assurance', or just 'Net QA'. They have a tool called NATE>
A: Quick stupid question: What does the 'A' in NATE stand for?
B: Well, you have to realize that before you joined we used to be called Network Automation, so it stands for Network Automation Test Environment.
A: Oh, OK.
Me: You should change it to "NetQA's Awesome Test Environment"
B: That would just be lying.
A: There are other words that start with A...
Me: Let's not go there.
B: We should hold a contest...
A: "Choose Your Favorite A-word"
Me: Worst. Reality. Show. EVER.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #251 on: January 06, 2010, 03:05:52 PM » |
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A: We went to the 'la farm' bakery in Cary Me: 'la farm?' B: It's French for 'the farm' Me: I never would have guessed. A: So I sounded retarded when I said "the la farm"? B: A little bit, yeah. (I kid you not. Also, enjoy this bit of copy: === Lionel Vatinet’s passion for bread was first nurtured when he joined France’s prestigious artisans’ guild Les Compagnons du Devoir as an apprentice at age 16. Emerging 7 years later with the distinguished and hard-earned title of Maitre Boulanger (Master Baker), Vatinet pledged to devote his life to teaching, sharing and preserving the ancient art and science of bread baking. === Me: It took him 7 years to get his master's degree in baking? B: If he wants to spend another forty years he can get his Doctorate of Baking. The reason for them telling me this story is because for a short time at work my nickname was Master Baker. I'm not sure if this is because I have my master's degree and my last name is Baker, or because it sounds like masturbator. I think it's a little from column A, a little from column B). |
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rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #252 on: January 08, 2010, 01:41:18 PM » |
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Me, after finding a bug I was searching for hours: Holy boolean logic fail, Batman. Holy crap on a crap cracker.
A: Holy shit on a shit sandwich.
B: Holy poop on a poop pita.
C: Holy dung on a dung Dorito.
B: Holy feces on...er...feces falafel.
Me: I think we all seriously need help.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #253 on: January 14, 2010, 02:28:24 PM » |
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<A finishes cleaning crumbs out of her keyboard>
A: Nathan, I hereby ordain you as my keyboard police
Me: OK...What does that mean?
A: When you see me eating over my keyboard, you can make fun of me.
Me: Don't I do that already?
A: But now I'm giving you permission.
Me: That just takes all the fun out of it.
A: It's not about your fun.
Me: Actually, yes, it is about my fun. Why do you think I do it?
A: Hm...
*She stares at the wall in contemplation*
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #254 on: January 19, 2010, 04:11:50 PM » |
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A: I tell myself that I want to drive my car into the ground, but that'll take like 10 years! Me: You drive a Civic. It will take more than 10 years. Heck, my car is 15... A: But your car is below where I consider the ground to be. Me:  |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #255 on: January 21, 2010, 10:23:15 AM » |
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A: Is B in today?
Me: No, I think he's at home on child-wrangling duty.
A: Well, his wife is sick and he has four kids...someone has to hold down the fort.
Me: Duct tape and benadryl...100% success rate.
A: Or whiskey.
Me: Now that's just cruel.
A: But it tastes better.
Me, puzzled: You don't eat the duct tape, A.
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rms
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Aaron
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« Reply #256 on: January 21, 2010, 10:34:52 AM » |
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whiskey instead of benadryl...my kind of medicine!
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #257 on: January 21, 2010, 06:11:17 PM » |
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hm...duct tape sounds like quack medicine to me.
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murlough23
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« Reply #258 on: January 21, 2010, 06:13:33 PM » |
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We have a mailing list set up for the purpose of easily contacting all developers in our working group at once. Occasionally someone will say something unintentionally humorous when writing to the list, and a few of us will take it as an opportunity to banter back and forth. One co-worker has been responding "<unsubscribe>" as a humorous way of suggesting that we stop the banter and get back to work.
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Vlad!
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« Reply #259 on: January 22, 2010, 02:17:25 PM » |
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A: With a Mac, I mean, it'll fail, but it will work fine for a few years and then completely burn out.
A: With a Windows box, it's like a slow, gradual death...
Me: ...that starts about two months after you buy the computer.
A: Pretty much.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #260 on: January 26, 2010, 03:45:57 PM » |
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Me: He likes to act as though he's doing all this important and cool stuff after he leaves work, but we know he's just watching Rachel Maddow in his underwear.
A: *raises eyebrow*
Me: He's the one in his underwear, just to clarify.
A: Good to know.
Me: Though if he could make the other one work...
A: Right, right. But that's not going to happen.
Me: Nope.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #261 on: January 28, 2010, 02:26:24 PM » |
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A: Did you get your groceries already?
Me: *Stares at him in confusion and incomprehension*
A: There's going to be a snow-in tomorrow.
Me: OK, it might, might, start snowing sometime around 5pm tomorrow. It's unlikely to get below freezing before midnight. You do the math.
A: Just don't complain to me when you get snowed in and you don't have bread.
Me: I live within walking distance of the grocery store.
A: How are you so unconcerned?
Me: Here's a hint: I'm not from North Carolina.
A: Ohhhhh!
(A is actually from India, and if there's one demographic that freaks out about snow more than North Carolinians, it's Indians).
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rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #262 on: January 28, 2010, 02:38:44 PM » |
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We've been receiving some international feedback on one of our Mars-related websites. Yesterday we got the following message in Dutch:
"We leven met u mee daar in die winterse Marskou. Maar hou je taai en stuur ons nog veel informatie over onze rode buurplaneet."
An actual Dutch speaker was able to translate this as follows:
"We feel for you living in that wintery Mars cold, but hang in there and send us much information on our red neighbor planet."
However, an earlier attempt to translate this via Google resulted in the following:
"We live with you there in the winter Marskou. But keep your pecker up and send us much about our red planetary neighbor."
Now I can hang in there through a cold winter just fine, but doing that other thing during a cold winter proves to be more difficult.
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Vlad!
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« Reply #263 on: January 28, 2010, 03:35:45 PM » |
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I don't know if I'm more amused by the colloquialism or by the assumption that you are actually living on Mars.
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rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #264 on: January 28, 2010, 03:38:01 PM » |
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I don't know if I'm more amused by the colloquialism or by the assumption that you are actually living on Mars.
I forgot to explain the context there. The website sort of personifies the Mars rover missions, as if you were actually addressing the rovers directly. So the "you" in this message is the Spirit Rover. People obviously know that their feedback is really going to the personnel operating the mission and that those folks live on Earth. Apparently we're just being cute about it and some people are playing along. |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #265 on: January 28, 2010, 04:04:07 PM » |
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Ah, OK. I just assumed that some people over in Europe were waaaaay out of the loop regarding space exploration.
(That just makes the colloquialism even more awkward, though, knowing that the comment was addressed to a robot).
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rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #266 on: January 28, 2010, 05:45:06 PM » |
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(That just makes the colloquialism even more awkward, though, knowing that the comment was addressed to a robot).
Well, it would be easier for a being made of metal to... OK, never mind. |
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #267 on: January 29, 2010, 12:29:27 AM » |
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  I'm trying to think of an amusing quotation so Vlad! doesn't split this thread. A: (spouting stupid things) B (with German accent): shut up! it is better for you! (I try to say this as often as possible.) |
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murlough23
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« Reply #268 on: January 29, 2010, 01:27:18 AM » |
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Great cartoon. My co-workers will consider it a laugh riot.
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Vlad!
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« Reply #269 on: January 29, 2010, 12:11:14 PM » |
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I'm trying to think of an amusing quotation so Vlad! doesn't split this thread.
Yes, because it would be terrible for discussion about a topic to get split off into a thread that is actually about that topic  |
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rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #270 on: January 30, 2010, 08:31:58 PM » |
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hehe. I just don't like posting the off-topic post that splits the thread's back. er, something like that.
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Vlad!
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« Reply #271 on: February 01, 2010, 04:29:30 PM » |
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*Talking about the Black-Eyed Peas. Note that B is Indian*
A: The only good thing to come out of that is will.i.am. You look at them and you say "screw Fergie, and who's that guy who looks like Neo?"
B: I think he's not Asian. He's Indian.
Me: India is in Asia.
B: No, I mean Indian Indian.
Me and A: *puzzled look*
B: You know, Native American.
Me: B, it's hilarious that you, being from India, say that "Indian Indian" is Native American.
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rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #272 on: February 01, 2010, 04:30:46 PM » |
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It's also hilarious that he would describe any component of the Black Eyed Peas as "good".
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Vlad!
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« Reply #273 on: February 01, 2010, 04:42:15 PM » |
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Amusing followup:
B: *Talking about football*
A: You know more about football than I do.
C: You might even call him...an American Indian.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #274 on: February 02, 2010, 10:32:58 AM » |
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*More making fun of Indians (that's Indians from India, not Indian Indians from America)*
A, reading her e-mail aloud: "Ten bucks says that he doesn't know either"
A: Who is ten bucks?
B: What?
A: Whose nickname is "ten bucks"?
Me: It's an expression. It means that he's hypothetically betting ten dollars.
A: Hey, I don't know all this stuff.
Me: Didn't you just become an American citizen?
A: Yes.
Me: Call the DHS. I know of another question to put on the test.
A: *Throws a beanbag at me*
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #275 on: February 05, 2010, 01:26:38 PM » |
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One of our products is "clustered", which is a fancy way of saying that it's a bunch of devices which pretend to be one device. This is in a design meeting:
A: After that, we can take the cluster.....
B: Why did you stop?
A: Sorry, I watch too much Jon Stewart. Whenever I say "cluster", my brain automatically tries to say "clusterfuck".
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rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #276 on: February 08, 2010, 04:22:22 PM » |
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I have a friend who has been participating in presentations of The Vagina Monologues at her college. She will frequently post updates on her Facebook announcing events such as "Vagina Open Mic Night", which at first I thought were being phrased in an intentionally humorous way, until I pointed it out and got puzzled questions from her, which made things hella awkward as I had to figure out how to explain the joke without sounding like a total perv. So I decided not to comment on her latest update, which says "The Vaginas Are Coming!"
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Vlad!
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« Reply #277 on: February 11, 2010, 02:22:47 PM » |
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<A running joke among my friends is A's inability to spell 'elucidate' correctly (he writes 'eludicate'). He sent me some code to review>
Me: A, I'm impressed. You spelled 'elucidate' correctly in your comment.
A: I tried really hard.
Me: Now 'synchronous', not so much.
A: Argh! Crap!
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rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #278 on: February 12, 2010, 01:02:11 PM » |
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<We have a program that A cobbled together to automatically generate some tedious computer code. I will call it Foo>
A: I'm modifying Foo to also write some other scripts.
Me: Dude, this is how it begins. Foo is Skynet.
A: I hope so, because I'm not worried. Foo is retarded.
Me: One day you're going to link in a natural language processor, and Foo will destroy the world accidentally because of its own retardation.
A: The world's most dangerous two year old!
Me: This is a very politically-correct conversation.
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murlough23
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« Reply #279 on: February 12, 2010, 01:04:10 PM » |
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It's only OK to call something retarded if you're a Republican, apparently.
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