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Vlad!
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« Reply #360 on: June 22, 2010, 03:31:24 PM » |
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Me: Why is gdb moving my core file to California?
A: Because the workspace is in California.
Me: It was generated by people here in RTP. Why would it be in California.
A: gdb figures that stuff out for you.
Me: I know, but I think it's wrong.
A: It's never been wrong for me.
Me: It's never killed my immediate family, but if I see it walking into my brother's house with a knife, I'll still stop it.
A: That was not the logical leap I was trying to make.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #361 on: June 23, 2010, 04:30:36 AM » |
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Seen on a church billboard, via someone's Facebook (page):
HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS
TEXT WHILE DRIVING IF YOU WANT TO MEET HIM
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #362 on: June 23, 2010, 11:18:41 AM » |
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I think people who text while driving go to the special hell.
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murlough23
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« Reply #363 on: June 23, 2010, 11:20:31 AM » |
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I think people who text while driving go to the special hell.
Well yeah, but you have to meet Jesus first so that he can say, "Depart; I knew you not." |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #364 on: June 24, 2010, 10:02:30 AM » |
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Me: ...so the lunch is in the cafe, and it's "bring your own food".
A: Wow. Half-assed.
Me: That's way less than half-assed. At this point I don't think the ass is even visible to the naked eye.
A:....
Me: Too far?
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #365 on: June 24, 2010, 06:39:35 PM » |
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Among the corpus of legendarily sarcastic error messages is this one, from the 'tar' command:
[nathanb@nathanb-box ~] tar -cf foo.tar
tar: Cowardly refusing to create an empty archive
I referenced it in a comment in some code I wrote:
/* Cowardly refusing to let the user corrupt data by changing the block size */
Followed by a statement to produce the equivalent of Windows' Blue Screen of Death.
My co-worker who was reviewing the code said "you UNIX nerds are all alike". I was amused that I could guess what line he was looking at without even glancing at his screen.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #366 on: June 25, 2010, 09:23:11 AM » |
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<A has an iPhone 4 on order. This is from an IM conversation> Nathan@work: B just walked into an Apple store and bought an iPhone 4 A: yup A: i wonder if i could cancel my mail order and go to the store? Nathan@work: Good luck with that. A: i'm going to do that now! A: nevermind, only 16G models Nathan@work: The store only carries 16G models? A: thats all that is left, B got the last 32 Nathan@work: If only we had the technology to have additional storage on some sort of removable card. A: meh, that would result in a bigger phone, or a smaller battery  Nathan@work: Enjoy your rationalizations, fanboy. A: I will :D |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #367 on: June 28, 2010, 02:38:33 PM » |
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There has been a partially amusing, partially just depressing email thread going around the site mailing list today.
My friend A sends a mail with the title "Lost wedding band". Apparently he lost his ring in the gym.
He receives a lot of replies...about half are sympathetic, half are "dude you are in SO much trouble..."
Then there's one that says:
"I have one I won’t need any more after this Friday - simple gold circle with a few dings and scratches...You can have it for free if you think it will help"
Doh...
(In a move of married-dude solidarity, another friend B went down to the gym to help look and managed to find the ring.)
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #368 on: June 28, 2010, 02:42:32 PM » |
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I made a comment that was funnier than I intended it to be this weekend, when I saw a friend I hadn't seen in a few weeks, show up at a wedding with his fiancee in tow. He had shaved his head, so I posed the following question:
"Which vow did you take? Chastity or silence? Please say silence!"
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Vlad!
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« Reply #369 on: July 09, 2010, 12:09:36 PM » |
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<I was at my parents' this past week, and I was helping them with some construction work on their house. I gave a suggestion that my mom appreciated>
Mom: How did you get so smart?
Me: I reckon I inherited it.
Mom, to dad: And you wonder why I make all his favorite dishes when he comes over.
Dad: Since when did you know how to sweet-talk like that?
Me: I learned it from you.
Dad: OK, now you're just lying, and I don't think you want me to be cooking things for you anyway.
Me: I'm hoping I'll get control of the remote over Thanksgiving this year.
Dad: You'll have to try harder than that. You'll have to pry that remote from my cold, dead fingers.
Me: It was worth a try.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #370 on: July 09, 2010, 12:14:16 PM » |
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Always good to know where the smart genes in your ass came from.
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Vlad!
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« Reply #371 on: July 16, 2010, 09:15:26 AM » |
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Some guy posted, in what appears to be all seriousness, a link to this video to an internal mailing list. He said "parents with children beware". This spawned some rather amusing discussion, and one person replied with: Hilarious! I use this at my desk everyday as white noise while working. It isn't drugs, it is science. I replied (just to him; I try not to spam the dl with my dry wit) with: You're getting high at work?!? I'm telling your manager! The news-drones said it's bad, and if it is on the nightly news it must be true! His response: Yeah, good think they don't do drug testing. My ears are all bloodshot. |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #372 on: July 19, 2010, 06:19:54 PM » |
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A: How do you configure vim to remove whitespace at the end of lines?
Me: I dunno, man. Eclipse has a feature to trim whitespace just at the end of lines you've edited, though.
A: Ooh, that's a nice feature.
Me: Yeah, Eclipse has a lot of nice features.
Me: Like the one where it uses all the RAM in your computer. That's a really nice one.
A: Hey, that was my line.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #373 on: July 22, 2010, 09:17:38 PM » |
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<A has had a baby, whose name is apparently a traditional Indian name>
Intern: What's A's baby's name?
Me: Rohan.
Intern: Wow. You nerds must be all over that.
Me: First of all, for knowing the significance of that name you are automatically way cooler than the previous intern. And second, don't tell her...I don't think she knows that her son's name means something to a certain subculture.
B: Whatever. You just don't want her to know why you yell "Forth, Eorlingas!" whenever you see him.
Me: ...I don't know what you're talking about.
Intern: Nerrrrrrds.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #374 on: July 22, 2010, 09:22:30 PM » |
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xD that. is. awesome.
"the Horn of Helm Hammerhand will sound in the deep, one last time!"
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Vlad!
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« Reply #375 on: July 29, 2010, 05:33:52 PM » |
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<A is filling out an application for a Visa, since he'll be traveling abroad>
A: They're asking if they have my ten-print or just my two-print.
B: What?
Me: I think they want to know if they have all ten fingerprints on file, or just two.
B: Yes.
Me: That seems like something you should know.
B: I'll just put down 'no', and if they want it they can take it.
B: They want everything, man. They probably want my ass print too.
A: Maybe you could expedite the process by scanning it and attaching it to your application.
Me: Because that won't get him on any watch lists.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #376 on: July 29, 2010, 05:46:17 PM » |
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My boss had a funny gaffe in a group meeting yesterday when he talked about a project that hadn't ended well despite the person managing it doing the absolute best job she could, and likened it to unwittingly leading a bunch of lemurs off a cliff. We weren't sure which one of should point out that he probably meant lemmings.
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Vlad!
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« Reply #377 on: July 29, 2010, 06:00:41 PM » |
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Another funny conversation today: A: B is sad because he can't play Starcraft II on his Mac. Me: I thought they released it for the Mac? A: I said on his Mac. Me: Ahh. * For some reason, my bee chooses this moment to fall off my monitor* A: Your bee decided to commit suicide. Me: He couldn't play Starcraft II on his Mac. |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #378 on: July 29, 2010, 06:01:35 PM » |
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I was expecting: "He has it installed on his Mac, he just can't play it." (i.e. a dig at his video game skillz)
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Vlad!
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« Reply #379 on: July 29, 2010, 06:32:47 PM » |
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<A's attempts at filling out this application are providing a veritable goldmine of lul>
A: Listen to this: "have you ever engaged in prostitution, or are you coming into the United States to engage in prostitution?"
A: Why would they ask that?
Me: I guess because they've had problems in the past with people coming into the US to become prostitutes?
A: Really?
Me: I dunno; I guess there are certain people who are dissatisfied with the home-grown variety for whatever reason.
Me: We ship our computer programming jobs to India and they ship their prostitutes to the US.
B: Hard-working American hookers are losing their jobs to cheap Indian labor. Form a Congressional action committee.
Me: If what I've heard about Congress is any indication, they're already on it.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #380 on: July 29, 2010, 06:34:25 PM » |
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Me: If what I've heard about Congress is any indication, they're already on it.
ZING! Nice work. |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #381 on: August 01, 2010, 05:25:30 PM » |
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I try  A: Do you know if B is camping up in Yellowstone, or is she in a hotel? C: Why wouldn't she be camping? Me: Summon got et by a b'ar. C: What did you just say? Me: Sorry, I lapsed into Tennessean there for a second. I meant "someone got eaten by a bear". C, cracking up: I'm not laughing because of the horrible news, I'm laughing at your unexpected hickishness. Me: Shut up. |
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rms
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bloop
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« Reply #382 on: August 03, 2010, 03:39:51 PM » |
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Enjoy our pub. user/pw: thephorum Follow me on Grooveshark or Spotify. username: iceybloop |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #383 on: August 03, 2010, 04:26:24 PM » |
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I think there's one of those mutant repeating sentences involving badgers as well, but the badger + mushroom video has made google searching for badger-related articles futile.
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rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #384 on: August 03, 2010, 04:37:29 PM » |
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Wouldn't the sentence "I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign" have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips?
- Martin Gardner
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Vlad!
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« Reply #385 on: August 05, 2010, 09:48:19 AM » |
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A: Happy birthday, B!
B: It's not my birthday at all.
A: Weren't there signs up saying "happy birthday B"?
B: No. *finds sign* it says "Tenth anniversary". I've worked here for ten years now.
Me: "Birthday" and "anniversary" have some of the same letters, so I can understand your confusion.
A: I'm a little dyslexic. Sue me.
Me: Aren't you part of the documentation team?
A: Shhhh!
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rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #386 on: August 05, 2010, 12:00:17 PM » |
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maybe A. was just thinking in French. (birthday = anniversaire)
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Vlad!
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« Reply #387 on: August 06, 2010, 02:16:47 PM » |
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<I just had this IM conversation with (female) developer A>
A: why is B talking so much about tits to C?
Nathan@work: I guess they have a mutual interest?
A: maybe
A: its a SCSI thing though
A: poor variable names
Nathan@work: Oh, TIDs.
A: aah
A: again, poor choice of variable name
Nathan@work: Just your dirty mind
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #388 on: August 09, 2010, 11:54:41 AM » |
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Me: If I had paid just a little more attention during checkin, I might not have screwed it up so badly...
A: If my mother had loved me just a little bit more, I might not be an alcoholic.
A: You gotta roll with the punches.
Me: ...despite being a really depressing analogy, that does cheer me up a little.
A: You know what cheers me up? Booze.
Me: And now we're back to depressing.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #389 on: August 10, 2010, 07:43:14 PM » |
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A: What are you doing for dinner? Me: Leftover chicken nachos from the Fed and homemade salsa, baby! B: Oh, gross. I hate it when the chips get all soggy. Me: It's all good. You just grab a sthingy and eat it like cereal. B: That description makes it sound even more gross. (We ended up going to Neomonde instead, in case you care.) |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #390 on: August 10, 2010, 07:45:28 PM » |
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Me: It's all good. You just grab a sthingy and eat it like cereal.
B: That description makes it sound even more gross. it sounds even grosser now that you've posted about it here! |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #391 on: August 22, 2010, 01:27:47 PM » |
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So when I go hiking (or do any other physical activity) I tend to wear a bandanna over my hair, just to keep it under control and absorb sweat. Some friends and I were hiking at Raven Rock when we saw a family with a young child hiking in the other direction. As they passed, she said: "Mommy, that man is a pirate!" The guy hiking next to me and I looked at each-other, and in unison, we both said "Arrrr!" |
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rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #392 on: August 22, 2010, 06:18:51 PM » |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #393 on: August 23, 2010, 02:07:10 PM » |
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A: It's not rape! I swear, it's not rape!
Me, overhearing: Save it for the judge, you sick bastard.
A: Wait, what?
Me: Don't be yelling about rape during work.
A: I said "It's not rigged"
Me: ...paging Dr. Freud, Dr. Freud to my cubicle please.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #394 on: August 24, 2010, 08:57:51 AM » |
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A: The handle finally broke completely off my filing cabinet.
Me: You can have mine if you want. I just have to take my footballs out of it.
A: Footballs?
* I hold up two nerf footballs stored in my filing cabinet *
A: Why?
Me: People were throwing them around back when we were in building one and I was afraid they would break something. So I put them in my drawer, where they have remained for about two years.
A: Thank you for doing your part to curtail the spread of weapons of mass destruction.
Me: Hey, somebody's got to.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #395 on: August 25, 2010, 02:09:16 PM » |
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Me: OK, I've been writing C for so long, apparently I don't know C++ anymore.
Me: I should just give up and become a manager.
A: Or go into technical marketing.
B (the technical marketer): Hey!
A: Prove me wrong.
B: ...I don't know C++ anymore either.
Me: You guys are not helping me with my existential crisis over here.
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rms
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RedcoatJones
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« Reply #396 on: August 26, 2010, 12:47:51 PM » |
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Me: OK, I've been writing C for so long, apparently I don't know C++ anymore.
Me: I should just give up and become a manager.
A: Or go into technical marketing.
B (the technical marketer): Hey!
A: Prove me wrong.
B: ...I don't know C++ anymore either.
Me: You guys are not helping me with my existential crisis over here.
Could be worse. You could be the PR guy who doesn't know any of that stuff but gets to explain it to the press. Oh wait. That's me. |
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murlough23
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« Reply #397 on: August 31, 2010, 05:07:37 PM » |
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Innuendo based on programming terminology is always fun. From a Facebook conversation that originally had to do with some job openings I was sharing with friends:
A: (A's husband) is a senior programmer, I know he does like a zillion languages mostly LAMP, but also does a lot of other junk that's not his job...like debugging other people's work...ha
Me: Man, put that guy on our team. If I had a nickel for every time I heard, "Someone else wrote this, so I don't know how to fix it..."
A: Lol
B: It's rare to see code that is written well technically as well as beautifully - ie. well-formatted.
A: (A's husband) is OCD...he says his code is sexy. I have a hard time believing code can be sexy.
B: only if he's formatting his code into ASCII graphics =p
Me: I bet he's got a nice backend.
A: Lol....in fact? He does. Wait, are we still talking about programming?
Me: I probably shouldn't ask about the size of his hard drive.
A: HUGE! 123 GB...
Me: I've got a terabyte.
B: Just make sure it stays virus free.
B: And interfacing with strange devices might cause problems
B: Which brings up a thought, why is the computer/tech field so full of innuendos?
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Vlad!
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« Reply #398 on: August 31, 2010, 08:44:23 PM » |
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Quotation from my owner's manual, which I finally got around to reading: "No matter how advanced the technology, it cannot overcome the laws of physics."
I would argue that if the technology cannot overcome the laws of physics, it is insufficiently advanced :B
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #399 on: September 08, 2010, 01:57:22 PM » |
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A, eating yogurt: I love mango, so my husband got me this "Limited Edition" yogurt that's Mango Honey flavor.
Me: Nice.
A: But it doesn't taste of mango at all!
B: That's why it's limited edition. It's the mango that's limited.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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