Financial Frustrations, Marital Malaise

[Vlad!]

Whoops, I had in the back of my mind that there was some reason why selling the house wasn't an option, but I had forgotten the exact situation. What you say about your mom makes me even more sympathetic, since I was assuming that her problems were partially related to poor money management. You're right--if it's as you describe then there's no reason for you to micro-manage anything.

Sounds like your uncle is in trouble, and I don't know what the best solution is. I'll definitely be praying for you guys.

[AldaForPresident]

Murlough, I know that it's not an easy subject for most people, but you should definitely talk to your mom about divorcing your dad, and not just for financial reasons. My parents were separated for seven years but never divorced because my mom couldn't afford it. She passed away six months ago and since my parents were still legally married, my dad had to sign off on everything. I had to go hunt him down the day she died and then go find the funeral home director just so he could witness my dad signing a release so my mom could be cremated. My parents had a pretty awful relationship, and mine with my dad isn't much better, and I would not wish for anyone to have to deal with that in such miserable circumstances. I know this isn't remotely helpful in regard to your current concerns and completely unpleasant, but it something I never, ever thought about, and I know my mom didn't either.

[murlough23]

There was a time when I was willing to go into debt to deal with whatever legal fees were necessary to help my mom fight my dad in course and get a fair divorce settlement. She never pursued that. Now that my wife and I are thinking about starting a family, I can't exactly extend that offer again. Even if it's a guaranteed win (and I'm sure no court in America would find in favor of my dad), the legal fees in the meantime could be enormous and the case could get messy and drag out forever. The window has closed. She had her chance to get my backing on this.

Fortunately, my dad is 10 years older than my mom and well into his 60s by now. Probably not taking care of himself very well, either, if he claims he has no money and is living his life in hiding. So I don't think we'll have to deal with my mom passing first.

I feel that my uncle should be somewhere that can allow him to rehabilitate from his poor health (he's overweight, diabetic, and claims a leg injury keeps him from being able to work, but when he used to work he was a skilled auto mechanic) so that he can get back to supporting himself, rather than just leeching off of my mom. I still don't know why he was in the hospital, or how much mobility he has at this point.

[Vlad!]

Even if it's a guaranteed win (and I'm sure no court in America would find in favor of my dad), the legal fees in the meantime could be enormous and the case could get messy and drag out forever. The window has closed. She had her chance to get my backing on this.

Personally, I would suggest at least talking with a lawyer on this, especially if you know one from church or can get one who's more likely to be sympathetic to your cause. If you could explain that your mother's solvency would greatly increase if she was able to get even a half-share of the house, perhaps one would take it on a contingency basis. I don't know, but it's not likely to cost much (if anything) just to ask.

I just think that hoping your dad keels over before your mom loses her house is a really bad situation to be in.

[murlough23]

Personally, I would suggest at least talking with a lawyer on this, especially if you know one from church or can get one who's more likely to be sympathetic to your cause.

I did exactly this back in 2007. I knew someone at my church who had just passed the bar and just so happened to work for a firm that specialized in family law. She gave me the impression that it was a winnable case, and that divorce cases in California, if they became particularly contentious, could rack up legal fees of $50K. So basically it's doable, if one can afford the risk of going into debt in the meantime.

Also consider the angle that winning the case doesn't guarantee immediate sale of the house. It's in an extremely dilapidated state (the roof is caving in on one end, the plumbing is apparently shot, etc.), and this isn't exactly the kind of market in which someone would snap it up.

If you could explain that your mother's solvency would greatly increase if she was able to get even a half-share of the house, perhaps one would take it on a contingency basis. I don't know, but it's not likely to cost much (if anything) just to ask.

That's a bit of a risk for someone who just got the job to take, or to ask her colleagues to take. I didn't ask, she didn't offer, and frankly I understand why.

I just think that hoping your dad keels over before your mom loses her house is a really bad situation to be in.

I'd take a better situation if I can find one.

Push comes to shove, I guess I can ask her how much the property taxes are. (I wasn't even aware one had to pay such things once one had full ownership of their home, so I thought we were done with this "eviction scare" mess.) I could potentially help her with that in the short term, but there are definitely going to be some steep conditions applied to it.

[Vlad!]

Push comes to shove, I guess I can ask her how much the property taxes are. (I wasn't even aware one had to pay such things once one had full ownership of their home, so I thought we were done with this "eviction scare" mess.) I could potentially help her with that in the short term, but there are definitely going to be some steep conditions applied to it.

Property taxes are usually quite a lot; I'd say it's my largest bill (it only happens once a year, though, and around here at least owners can opt for a payment plan that amortizes it over the course of the year for those that don't have a few thousand dollars knocking around).

I don't follow this as much as I should, but I believe Obama's stimulus package will give lots of people, including presumably your mother, a fairly substantial wad of cash, which might help with her property tax situation. Assuming this dodgy store manager has been reporting her wages correctly, she should also get a normal refund back (and if he hasn't then maybe this would provide her the opportunity to institute a regime change). Thus, getting her taxes done might be a good first step for at least temporary relief.

[murlough23]

Property taxes are usually quite a lot; I'd say it's my largest bill (it only happens once a year, though, and around here at least owners can opt for a payment plan that amortizes it over the course of the year for those that don't have a few thousand dollars knocking around).

Are property taxes paid on a yearly or monthly basis?

I don't follow this as much as I should, but I believe Obama's stimulus package will give lots of people, including presumably your mother, a fairly substantial wad of cash, which might help with her property tax situation.

Yeah, I've been waiting for that to kick in and for the new administration to get a move on with the universal health care thing (though obviously that second part is going to take a while). I don't know when her bill is due. I guess I'll ask her if she finds no other solutions and has to come back to me again.

Assuming this dodgy store manager has been reporting her wages correctly, she should also get a normal refund back (and if he hasn't then maybe this would provide her the opportunity to institute a regime change). Thus, getting her taxes done might be a good first step for at least temporary relief.

The dodgy store manager is a she, but that's immaterial. I think there's evidence that the company's unimpressed with the manager's leadership style (the other managers certainly are) and she may get transferred out, but the company appears to be dragging their feet. Basically any third party that's observed the conflict agrees that what's happening to my mom ain't right, but I think the economy's got everybody running scared. (Personally, I don't see the problem. Boot or demote the bad manager, and hire or promote someone deserving. It shouldn't cost anything more to do this. Hell, my mom could probably run that store. She knows the ins and outs of it better than the store manager at this point. But that may once again be a lack of education holding her back from a job that, on a practical level, she could easily do.)

I know all W2 forms should have been mailed out by this point, so I will push her to get her taxes done, and hell, if she needs TurboTax or something to get it done faster, I can front the money for that.

Another wrinkle as far as taxes are concerned is that the state of California is apparently so far in debt that they're going to be sending out IOU's to people who are owed refunds this year. My state tax refund is usually about 1/10 of my federal, so no biggie for me, but kind of a bummer for people who need every little bit of spare change that they can get. (And I know some people who owe state taxes who have joked that they're going to send the state an IOU. Funny, though I doubt it'll work.)

The more scared everyone gets and the more they stockpile and refuse to spend, the more they push the economy further down the crapper. When is this going to end?

[Vlad!]

Getting more OT, but TurboTax has a free edition; I've never used it so I don't know how effective it is, but your tax dollars are helping pay for it so you might at least try it[1].

Are property taxes paid on a yearly or monthly basis?

In NC they're yearly; I received my bill in September and had until January to pay or to arrange payment. Let's hope she's not on the same schedule.

Hell, my mom could probably run that store. She knows the ins and outs of it better than the store manager at this point. But that may once again be a lack of education holding her back from a job that, on a practical level, she could easily do.

I've been hoping that one benefit of this economic downturn would be that companies will re-evaluate their strategy of preferring people who have the right credentials over those who have demonstrated competence and experience, but so far I haven't seen that.

Another wrinkle as far as taxes are concerned is that the state of California is apparently so far in debt that they're going to be sending out IOU's to people who are owed refunds this year.

Doh. I wonder what happens if a state goes bankrupt. Maybe the federal government could buy California and ask the states' rights people how they like them apples.

I guess if worst comes to worst your mom could get arrested. I hear it's fairly similar to renting an apartment except that your rent is paid by other people and you don't get to choose your roommates...

[1] I realize this probably seems hypocritical since I haven't tried it, but my dad's an accountant so my tax strategy is to throw all tax-related stuff into a folder until the next time he visits and then give it to him for him to worry about.

[murlough23]

Getting more OT, but TurboTax has a free edition; I've never used it so I don't know how effective it is, but your tax dollars are helping pay for it so you might at least try it[1].

I'll advise her to try it. She can at least still afford dial-up internets.

In NC they're yearly; I received my bill in September and had until January to pay or to arrange payment. Let's hope she's not on the same schedule.

Apparently there are exemptions and postponements available in California if your income is lower than a certain amount. I wonder if she's aware of this (or, if she is, whether there's a limit to how many times you can invoke this excuse).

In other news, remind never to buy a house. Too damn much trouble. I'd rather have affordable rent for the rest of my life instead of getting F'd up the A by a potpourri of taxes and maintenance expenses.

I've been hoping that one benefit of this economic downturn would be that companies will re-evaluate their strategy of preferring people who have the right credentials over those who have demonstrated competence and experience, but so far I haven't seen that.

Well hell, then she could get her old teaching job back. She was only doing it for something ridiculous like 23 years before she got forced out of the school in which she'd proven herself and almost all other schools took one look at her unfinished education and said, "Not interested".

Doh. I wonder what happens if a state goes bankrupt. Maybe the federal government could buy California and ask the states' rights people how they like them apples.

What kills me about that is that we went to the trouble of throwing out our old governor in order to get Ah-nold in there. Clearly this did not improve our situation.

I guess if worst comes to worst your mom could get arrested. I hear it's fairly similar to renting an apartment except that your rent is paid by other people and you don't get to choose your roommates...

I actually wouldn't put it past my uncle to pull something like this. But the penal system's already stretched to the max, I wouldn't want to recommend abusing it.

[bethany]

I used the free TurboTax thing last year, and it worked just fine for me. I think the only caveat is you have to make under a certain amount annually to qualify to use it for free.

Ugh, I really need to get started on taxes.

[Vlad!]

What kills me about that is that we went to the trouble of throwing out our old governor in order to get Ah-nold in there. Clearly this did not improve our situation.

If it's any consolation, I saw a map yesterday claiming that only four states (and four of the most uninteresting ones at that) are not in danger of bankruptcy.

In other news, remind never to buy a house. Too damn much trouble. I'd rather have affordable rent for the rest of my life instead of getting F'd up the A by a potpourri of taxes and maintenance expenses.

I bought a house because I felt like I was throwing my money away each month paying rent. Now instead I throw my money away fixing things that break. I certainly won't criticize you for taking the rental option and running with it.

Anyway, I'm just rambling about random things now (I tend to drive threads to that point, now that I think about it). Ultimately, I don't blame you for first of all being frustrated in this situation and second of all not wanting to assume a burden you didn't ask for and don't deserve (I'm sure you're elated that Random Internet Guy doesn't blame you). Jesus said to continually forgive others, but he didn't say that we had to insulate them from the effects of their behavior. It's harder when, as in the case of your mom, the person gets screwed by circumstance and the only thing you can fault her for is making a decision that looked like the right one at the time. Paul even says that married people are devoted to one-another while single people can be more devoted to the Lord (which I'm sure you were aware of going into marriage). I read this as saying that even if you would be willing to make the sacrifice when you were single, as a married person you have a duty to your wife as well, and I see you honoring this.

Personally, I prefer to confront problems rather than let them simmer, so my only other armchair quarterback comment is for her to go after the divorce. I have zero experience with the legal system so I can't give much advice there, but the legal system exists to keep people from getting screwed by other people. If it can't even fulfill that charter, it fails a lot worse than I think it does.

[murlough23]

I used the free TurboTax thing last year, and it worked just fine for me. I think the only caveat is you have to make under a certain amount annually to qualify to use it for free.

If she qualifies, which she probably will, then great. If not, I'll pay. I use Turbotax and it's not that expensive given the convenience it offers.

Ugh, I really need to get started on taxes.

Doing mine isn't such a chore, but that might just be because I get money back (and because I don't own a bunch of complicated stuff that ahs to be taxed, so it usually just boils down to gathering my W2 and however many W2s my wife has managed to aggregate over the previous year). I would adjust my withholdings and whatever if I knew what I was doing, but I don't, so for now it's a nice way to force myself to save up for vacations/emergencies each year. If I ever end up having to pay every year, or if I find a worthwhile way to invest the money that would otherwise be withheld in the meantime, I'll get that fixed.

[murlough23]

If it's any consolation, I saw a map yesterday claiming that only four states (and four of the most uninteresting ones at that) are not in danger of bankruptcy.

That's it, I'm moving to Wyoming!

I bought a house because I felt like I was throwing my money away each month paying rent. Now instead I throw my money away fixing things that break. I certainly won't criticize you for taking the rental option and running with it.

"I went to the Home Depot, which was unnecessary. I need to go to the Apartment Depot. Which is just a big warehouse with a whole lot of people standing around saying, 'We don't have to fix shit!'"

I thought Mitch Hedberg might bring a little levity to this situation.

Anyway, I'm just rambling about random things now (I tend to drive threads to that point, now that I think about it).

And I don't?

Ultimately, I don't blame you for first of all being frustrated in this situation and second of all not wanting to assume a burden you didn't ask for and don't deserve (I'm sure you're elated that Random Internet Guy doesn't blame you).

I needed the viewpoint of Random Internet Guy, actually. My close friends here are more likely to be biased to either (a) agree with me because they know how opinionated I am and may think it's just better to smile and nod at all of my bitching and moaning, or (b) think it's appalling that I wouldn't bend over backwards to care for a troubled relative (most of my local friends come from Asian cultures, where respect for parents is tantamount, which basically translates to the parents having the kids wrapped around their fingers well into adulthood). Folks here, I consider friends (which I know I don't show sometimes because I can be a jerk to them), and I do value their opinions, and you generally seem like a pretty objective fellow.

Jesus said to continually forgive others, but he didn't say that we had to insulate them from the effects of their behavior. It's harder when, as in the case of your mom, the person gets screwed by circumstance and the only thing you can fault her for is making a decision that looked like the right one at the time.

That kind of sums up how I feel. When people make really bad decisions, I don't judge the eternal status of their soul on that basis or anything because it's not my job to make that judgment call to begin with), but I also feel that maybe they should sleep in the bed they made for a while in order to leave a lasting impression and make them less likely to do something that dumb ever again.

But I'm indignant on behalf of people who get screwed by the system despite making the best of efforts to be careful with their resources. I feel that the Bible calls Christians to love the poor, and it would be hypocritical of me to start having enlightenments about how I might be able to help the homeless while doing nothing for my mom, who could end up homeless. But sometimes it's easier to give a handout or devote some of your time to a person with whom there isn't a deeply established relationship - because you get to set the boundaries and say, "I'll help this much", and it's more than the nothing the person figured they'd get from you, so you can get out before it becomes unhealthy. With family or sometimes close friends, once you get started bailing them out of tough situations, you look like a real hard-ass when later on you have to say, "I can't do anything more at the moment."

Paul even says that married people are devoted to one-another while single people can be more devoted to the Lord (which I'm sure you were aware of going into marriage). I read this as saying that even if you would be willing to make the sacrifice when you were single, as a married person you have a duty to your wife as well, and I see you honoring this.

I've done everything I can to avoid playing that card with my mom, though. My wife and my mom actually get along - honestly, they probably communicate more with each other than I do with my mom. That's good, because before we got married, they didn't really get along. I really don't want to say, "I can't give you this money because my wife wants me to save it up so we can start a family." While that's true and it's what I want to, that would basically be a way of throwing my wife under the bus and destroying a relationship that is currently in good standing. So I'd rather it seem to my mom that my decisions are my own. I can handle her being pissed at me.

Personally, I prefer to confront problems rather than let them simmer, so my only other armchair quarterback comment is for her to go after the divorce. I have zero experience with the legal system so I can't give much advice there, but the legal system exists to keep people from getting screwed by other people. If it can't even fulfill that charter, it fails a lot worse than I think it does.

I'll suggest that, but I'm likely to get a response of, "How? I can't afford a lawyer." At that point, all I can suggest to her is that she work her connections, and I'll try to work mine, and at some point, we've gotta know someone in the legal field who can at least dispense a little free advice.

[murlough23]

This is currently sitting in my Gmail drafts. I'm thinking of sending it to my mom later today. Names changed to protect... uh, to protect some people.

Hi Mom,

I feel bad that our conversation the other day ended abruptly. I felt like I was in a bit of a catch-22 where my options were either do everything you asked to bail you out and put myself on the hook for expenses I knew I couldn't cover, or do nothing and feel terrible about it. Giving it a few days to think things over has brought up a few alternative options that I thought I might suggest.

First, obviously the most urgent issue is to deal with (my uncle)'s lack of a place to go. I'm assuming at this point that he's been with you for the last few days. I understand that you don't want to put a family member out on the street, even if his situation is really his own fault. My primary concern is that his being there will put an extra financial burden upon you when you already can't pay your own bills (due to a situation that is not your fault). I think you already know from past experience that once you get him in there, it's going to be very hard to get him out, and this could create more crisis situations where something happens with him and you have to fix it despite having no money to do so. At the very least, you need to set up some pretty firm ground rules about what he needs to be doing with his time while he's there with you.

(My wife)'s parents are actually in a similar situation right now, not with a family member, but with a friend from their church named (friend's name), who (my father-in-law) has taken on the enormous burden of caring for because he is infirm and cannot even drive himself from place to place, much less work. It's gotten to the point where volunteering to do this has started to put a strain on their finances, which means they might not be able to visit (my wife) this year. (Continually pumping money into (my sister-in-law)'s dead-end pursuits here in California hasn't helped, either - I love my sister-in-law, but I'm glad she finally found something worthwhile to do with her time and skills.) Obviously at some point either (my mother-in-law) or a concerned friend from their church had to speak up and say that it was not (my father-in-law)'s job to constantly babysit this man. I bring this up because (my father-in-law) and a few of the other church elders are looking into the option of having the state take care of (his friend). I don't know what that entails, whether the laws about it are the same in Hawaii as they are in California, and so forth. But I do know that it's an option when a person literally has nothing, which is pretty much (my uncle)'s situation. If I understand correctly, (my uncle)'s still unable to work due to his health. He needs to be in a place where he can not only have a roof over his head, but also get back to a reasonably healthy state so that he can get a job and start to take care of himself again. I know he has the skills; he just needs the motivation and the physical capacity to do it.

Second, I read somewhere that in California, if you can't pay your property taxes and your income falls under a certain amount (which I'm sure you qualify for), you can get the State to pay them for you. They put a lien on your house and the money has to be paid back to the State when you sell the house, or something like that. I'm sure you can Google California property tax laws for all the particulars. I don't know if there's a limit on how many times you can do this (for all I know, you've already done it in past years), but it's worth looking into. As I understand it, property taxes are somewhere around 1% of the value of your house, so this is obviously a larger number than I can really put a dent in at the moment.

Third, do your income taxes. TurboTax is really use to use and I think they're allowing you to file for free if your income is lower than a certain amount. (If you don't qualify to do it for free, I can front you the money for that.) I figure as little money as you made, the government has to owe you a refund. It may not be much, but every little bit helps. (I've heard rumors that the State is going to be issuing IOU's for people's tax refunds, so you might not get immediate help there, but you should at least get something back from the federal.) If by some really unfortunate circumstance, you have to pay taxes instead of getting a refund, then don't actually file it until April. It's worth at least finding out if you're owed some money.

Fourth, you need to finalize the divorce from dad. I mentioned this a few years ago, and we both kind of forgot about it once you got the job at (my mom's place of employment). I realize that this may be harder to pursue now because I can no longer afford to go into debt to help out with the legal fees in the interim (and also because back in 2007, I figured you'd at least still have (my brother)'s support in the matter; now apparently he wants nothing to do with any of us, which is kind of funny given that the whole rift between me and him started because he was indignant that he was helping you out and I wouldn't). So you'd have to network and figure out if you can make connections with someone who would be willing to provide legal advice pro bono, or at least take the case on a contingency basis. Maybe you'll get lucky and you'll contact dad and he'll agree not to fight you on it and then a divorce can be had easily and cheaply, but knowing dad, I realize we can't bank on this. Still, it can't hurt to ask. It also might be helpful, if you can get access to free or cheap legal advice, to find out if you have any legal grounds to fight back against the unfair treatment you've been getting at your job.

Fifth, this isn't anything you can really do anything about, but there might be another Economic Stimulus Plan getting passed soon. So, if that happens, you can count on an extra chunk of change coming your way. Regardless of your political views on whether this is a smart thing for the government to be doing, you're not really in a position to say no to the extra money.

As I said above, I'm willing to help pay for small, one-time things. I just can't be on the hook for bills that are going to cost you hundreds or thousands of dollars right now. I like to try to find long-term solutions to problems like these rather than just throwing money at them knowing the same problem's going to recur when your bills come up again the next month. I simply can't make a commitment to cover your bills from month to month, especially not if there's a second person that the burden also falls on me to take care of, which would be the case if (my uncle) lived with you long-term. I can see how it's easy to assume that (my wife) and I can afford it, because we do have our occasional luxuries like the trip we just took. The reality is that we probably should have postponed that trip - it had been planned prior to the events of January and it wasn't a terribly expensive one anyway, but January proved to be a bit of a crunch month for us due to me needing over $1,000 worth of repairs on my car (what I thought was a simple "check engine light" diagnosis on my birthday turned out to be the whole clutch system being shot, which meant the car could have stalled out on the freeway if I didn't get it fixed ASAP, plus I got a flat earlier in the month and had to replace the back tires and redo the alignment), and (my wife)'s hours at (my wife's place of employment) getting unexpectedly scaled back to almost nothing. We can pay our own bills just fine, but we can't take on other commitments at this point. It is very important to both of us that we start saving up so that we can actually afford to have a child when the time comes. If we can't do that, and if we can't do the occasional things like take small trips together, those things are going to take their toll on our marriage. My first duty is to my marriage, and that's why I have to be extremely careful what I commit myself to. This is my decision, so please don't resent (my wife) for it.

I don't want you to feel that you can't ask me for help, just be mindful of the fact that I can't be your first line of defense. When the requests are big and overwhelming, I'm likely to freak out and not want to deal with it. I've found that I can usually offer helpful ideas once I've taken the time to cool down and approach the situation logically. So in the future, I might decide to give it a few hours or a day before responding to an emergency phone call, seeing as having a conversation in the heat of the moment when everybody's frustrated and stressed out seems to only lead to arguments and intense feelings of guilt and frustration. I just want you to know this upfront so that you don't think you're being ignored.

--David

I just realized one great irony of this situation - when my uncle was able to work, he worked as an auto mechanic, and he had actually helped out with repairs I needed on my old car back when he was healthy, usually in exchange for something really cheap like dinner or a six-pack of beer, etc. If he hadn't let his health deteriorate, he could have helped me save money on the car repairs and I'd have a little more freed up to potentially help him out. Then again, if he were able to work, he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

[murlough23]

OK, I think I dodged a bullet on this one. I sent the Email above to my Mom, minus the part about the economic stimulus package, which I now realize is meant to go to business, not to individuals. (Better not to raise her ire about a President she thinks will spend us into oblivion, anyway.) She responded that she was able to get some basic necessities for my uncle and some free meds and so forth, and he's gonna be collecting Social Security by the end of the month, so basically he'll be paying his own way and possibly even paying her some rent while he's there. (The house is going to be crowded since the other bedroom has a leaky roof and it's been raining a lot lately, but at this point at least it's a livable situation.) Essentially little sister is going to have to play health Nazi to get him back on his feet, but I know my Mom well enough to know she won't stand to let another brother waste away (she lost her youngest brother to cancer in 2006 that could have been prevented if he'd either stopped smoking a lot sooner or at least kept up with his treatments).

She told me she wasn't really asking me for money beyond perhaps a little bit for gas to go get my uncle and to transport him around town on various errands to get his affairs in order; she just wanted me to be aware of the situation. I offered to help her with gas, which I know is an expense that currently keeps her from going father than the few miles between home and her job. I figure I can just set her up with a gas card that has a certain reasonable of money banked on it - not a big expense for me, but it could be a lifesaver in future emergencies when I'm not available to drive her somewhere. So things are at peace between us, and she doesn't expect me to put my future on hold to deal with her emergencies. She agreed with several of my observations about things she could work on to get herself in better financial standing, and will start dealing with those things once she's got stuff squared away for my uncle. I feel a lot better now.

Thanks for the prayers and advice, guys.

NP: "Golden Age", TV on the Radio

[bethany]

Glad to hear it went well.

[Vlad!]

Hm, sounds like a great resolution, then. I wasn't aware about the economic stimulus package thing; I was under the impression that qualifying citizens would be receiving wads of cash, but my following of politics is sporadic at best.

[murlough23]

Hm, sounds like a great resolution, then. I wasn't aware about the economic stimulus package thing; I was under the impression that qualifying citizens would be receiving wads of cash, but my following of politics is sporadic at best.

That may still be coming, as far as I know. If we the people got money from Bush's economic stuimuli, I'm sure Obama probably plans to help bail us out with a chunk of change at some point. But I think this time around his focus was trying to keep businesses in business. So it's none of our business (har, har, har).

NP: "Hang on to You", Luna Halo

[danny316]

That may still be coming, as far as I know. If we the people got money from Bush's economic stuimuli, I'm sure Obama probably plans to help bail us out with a chunk of change at some point. But I think this time around his focus was trying to keep businesses in business. So it's none of our business (har, har, har).

NP: "Hang on to You", Luna Halo

I'm pretty sure that the largest tax cut in history is the only form of that anyone will be seeing (and it looks like that's going to be too slow to make much difference).

[murlough23]

I'm pretty sure that the largest tax cut in history is the only form of that anyone will be seeing (and it looks like that's going to be too slow to make much difference).

Always the optimist.

[murlough23]

Update: My Mom finally managed to get her crazy-ass brother out of the house. His depression and paranoia got out of control to the point where he was a threat to her physical safety. She basically had to have the cops haul him off to the hospital, and after much convincing to persuade the people at the hospital that she wasn't just trying to get rid of a responsibility and that she simply could not have him there any more, they're gonna put him in an assisted living facility. I don't know how that sort of thing gets paid for (probably by the state), but it's out of my Mom's hands now. Thank God. It was getting to the point where her blood pressure was through the roof due to all of the stress, and the last thing we need right now is her in the hospital, too. Sorry if it's shocking to anyone that I could speak so callously about a member of my own family, but when a person has done this to himself, all I can think is that you reap what you sow and I can't make this my problem. I'm more concerned with trying to care for someone who is suffering injustice due to the irresponsible actions of others.

So now we're back to where we started with her - living alone and trying to cover basic living expenses with a job that can't be bothered to give her more than a pittance of hours a week. It sucks, but at least it's not an imminent threat to anyone's safety.

NP: "OK", Mute Math

[Vlad!]

Thanks for keeping us apprised of the situation.

I don't personally believe that God puts us in every situation. I think that sometimes we pay the consequences of our own actions and sometimes we're just innocent bystanders in a catastrophe, whether it be personal or global, minor or major. However, I am positive that these situations don't take him by surprise and that he can use them for our benefit and even turn them to our advantage. I will certainly continue to pray for your mother, that not only will she be encouraged and borne up through this situation but that she will have the incredible privilege of seeing, perhaps years down the road, how these events played a critical role in the future happiness of herself and those she loves.