NOTHING prepares you for this...

[ajyouthguy]

11 years of experience and all the seminary textbooks and books on my shelf can't prepare you for this...

this afternoon, at 3:15, one of my youth went under while swimming and never came back up.  at 9:45 tonight, they found his body.  i was there from 4:30 or so on...and the whole scene was so surreal.  it hurts.  it sucks.  i'm numb.  there are so many pieces to pick up for all of us moving forward.  his family needs prayers, especially his dad, who was there and blames himself.  his girlfriend needs prayers, she was there right before this and hadn't been gone 2-3 minutes when it happened.  his youth group (that'd be me and our growing group) needs prayers, b/c we are hurting.  there is a lot of grieving and healing to take place, and a lot of responsibility on my lap as i grieve and hurt as well as help those kids grieve and hurt.  nothing prepares you for this.  oh, and spring break is this week on top of that.

[bethany]

Wow, that's very sad. I'll pray for you all!

[dgp11776]

Wow, man.  Sorry to hear about that - sounds tough.

[ajyouthguy]

one thing i didn't  mention is that while our pastor will handle the 'meat' of the service, i will also have a  pretty significant role, and it's gonna be awfully difficult.  i want to do it and am VERY glad to do it, but it's gonna be as hard as anything i've ever done i think, so i treasure your prayers.

then there is the 'what's next' stuff, and we have a LOT on our plate to move forward and pick up and carry on, in the youth ministry as well as the church as a whole.  thanks, guys, for the thoughts, and for your prayers.

[ajyouthguy]

i realize this thread is a pretty heavy one for this board, but i just wanted to sorta update you guys a bit. 

the funeral was yesterday.  we brought every chair we had into the sanctuary and had over 300 people there, probably 1/3 or more youth from our church and kids from his school.  it was an amazing day...tough, yes, but definitely a celebration of life.  it was hard to do my part, but from what i've been told i did it well and honored his life.  moving forward is gonna be tough, though, b/c reality sets in once you get past all of the other stuff.  the funeral and visitation and stuff are not the hardest part, it's the days to come, for the family, for all of us.

we started the process of moving forward as a youth group last night, and it was a neat night.  we did a little bit of stuff to kinda honor him and just kinda started the process of moving forward together.  we have an amazing church and a TIGHT youth group and this is bringing them even more together, even more committed to each other and to the group and to God, we believe.  it was an awesome 'first step' together, but we are realistic and know that it doesn't go away in a few hours, or even days or weeks.  it's the hardest thing we've ever been through, collectively for sure, and probably for most of us individually as well.  just keep us in your prayers.

as hard as the funeral was, for us (my wife and I), last night was even tougher as we broke it to our 5 year old son that one of his favorites in the youth group had gone to be with Jesus.  we thought we were ready to tell him, and we knew we needed to, but it sucked and was incredibly draining.  we are all exhausted and worn out and wiped out.  again, just pray for all of us.  i covet that.  i know it's easy to say it and not do it, and i know some of you don't want to say it b/c you're afraid you won't do it, but all i ask is that if and when you see my name on here or think of me, just drop a quick prayer for Alan, Tracy, and the LFBC Youth ministry.  thanks, so much.

[dgp11776]

Will continue to pray for you, Alan.

[Wildcatblue7]

sure thing.  as I'm sure you're sort of realizing God has an amazing way of working through absolutely horrific circumstances for good...which is weird and probably a little annoying to think about, but God's like that sometimes.

may God grant you all solace.

[murlough23]

sure thing.  as I'm sure you're sort of realizing God has an amazing way of working through absolutely horrific circumstances for good...which is weird and probably a little annoying to think about, but God's like that sometimes.

That's one of those things where what's theologically true (or at least, our best understanding of it) isn't always the best thing to say to the person who has suffered the loss. Not saying that it's bad for you to point that out to AJ or anything - more that it can be tricky for someone like him, as a person of spiritual authority, to know how to express these sorts of things to those who are grieving. (How do you speak the truth when the truth is likely to make people want to throw stuff at you?) I guess that's my way of saying I empathize with someone who had to do what was undoubtedly a hard job.

I had a situation in college (I'm sure I may have referenced it here before) where a friend went off into the mountains one weekend, just took off with his car and his bike without telling his girlfriend or anyone else, and she got alarmed when he hadn't returned by Monday. Turned out he had drowned in a flash flood - they found the body that Wednesday, and needless to say this was pretty devastating. She wasn't a Christian, though she had told me that he was, and as her friend and someone she knew shared a common faith with him, I was kind of put in this weird position of having to be the comforter even though I really had no words because I couldn't work it all out in my own head. Sometimes the best I can do is say, "I don't know", because sure, God works in mysterious ways, but then people also make mistakes that get them killed (or get others killed) and I'm not convinced that it's God's fault or God's decision. Then again, I've never been to seminary.

But my main point is, that sucks and I'm truly, truly sorry that AJ and everyone in his church had to go through it.

[ajyouthguy]

i appreciate the thoughts.  let me add one other prayer request type thing to this...

tomorrow (Wednesday) will be our first 'real' youth group since his passing.  while i'm super excited about the message and the plan i feel like God has given me, it's also realistic to believe it's gonna be incredibly difficult b/c it's gonna be the place where he is, by far, going to be the most obviously and glaringly missed. it will be the largest gathering of our students together since the death, and we will have kids on all levels of maturity, as well as all places along the map of where they are in the grieving and moving forward and healing process, especially since last week was spring break so a good number of them were not around last week for that initial phase of grief and healing.

[ajyouthguy]

hey guys...some of you will remember this thread from nearly a year ago. 

in honor of our student who drowned last March, our church is helping his family host a Disc Golf Scramble this weekend at the local Disc Golf Course.  It is in his memory, and the community is going all out and there are tons of sponsors and 35 or so 3 person teams involved.  as part of the event, each team is sending at least one rep to a banquet Friday night where they will be fed, hear a little about Matt, and draw their tee times for the next day.

at the banquet, i have the privilege, as Matt's youth pastor, of being the 'featured speaker,' with a chance to talk about his life and his faith.  I guess i'm just asking you to pray for this, because it is a pretty big deal and a neat opportunity for me.  i'm not gonna lie, i'm a little nervous, but very excited about the opportunity.  Thanks.