That's not my name

[AldaForPresident]

I find it very irritating when people younger than me or around the same age call me "honey" or "sweetie" or anything like that. I think it's a condescending way to address someone most of the time, and while I realize most people probably don't mean it that way, it bothers me. Granted, some people probably call everyone this as a habit, but there should be a rule that you have to be at least ten years older than the person you are addressing before you can call them "honey".

[enemy anemone]

yeah, it bothers me too, even if people don't mean anything by it or it's part of their culture or whatever. I also hate "ma'am". :-E

[Vlad!]

I find it very irritating when people younger than me or around the same age call me "honey" or "sweetie" or anything like that. I think it's a condescending way to address someone most of the time, and while I realize most people probably don't mean it that way, it bothers me. Granted, some people probably call everyone this as a habit, but there should be a rule that you have to be at least ten years older than the person you are addressing before you can call them "honey".

That is kind of creepy. I guess it's a southern thing.

yeah, it bothers me too, even if people don't mean anything by it or it's part of their culture or whatever. I also hate "ma'am". :-E

Yeah, I don't really like being Sirred or Mistered or whatever. I have a name; is it really disrespectful for kids to use it?

[bethany]

I always find it weird when kids don't refer to me by my first name. I get that their parents want to instill respect for their elders into them, and I suppose there could be something weird about a 5 year old addressing adults by their first names, but I still am caught way off-guard when anyone calls me "Mrs. Hansen." I'm only (almost) 25! When I wasn't married, I'd occasionally get "Miss Bethany" from some kids at church, which is even stranger - tacking a "Miss" on my front name and omitting my last name entirely. Weird.

[AldaForPresident]

The Miss First Name thing is definitely a Southern thing, I think. I do that with the residents at work. I also say "ma'am" a lot too. One time last summer our weekend supervisor asked me something and I answered "Yes ma'am," and she said "Well, you don't have to take that tone with me!" I always mean it as a gesture of deference- I only say it to people who are older than me.

[bethany]

The Miss First Name thing is definitely a Southern thing, I think.

Must not be solely a Southern thing, because I've never lived in the South, and I've encountered it plenty.

[Vlad!]

My former roommate's (South Carolinian) mother always made him say ma'am to her. I generally find that the more people insist on respect, the less they deserve it.

Kids at my church do the honorific + given name thing too. I'd be fine with a kid addressing me by first name (at least, as fine as I could be under the circumstances; I prefer children to be neither seen nor heard). When I saw one of my co-workers and his spawn in the grocery store, he referred to me as Mr. Nathan to his child as well--and this guy was from India (though he's lived in the US for probably about 20 years or so now). I guess it's a learned behavior too.

[bethany]

My former roommate's (South Carolinian) mother always made him say ma'am to her. I generally find that the more people insist on respect, the less they deserve it.

My parents tried to make us say "Yes, Mom/Yes, Dad" (or "ma'am" or "sir," respectively) for several years, with varying degrees of success. I don't think it was so much trying to demand respect in their case, as just wanting to know that we actually heard what they were telling us, since otherwise they were unlikely to get a response. I'm not sure when it petered out; I'm guessing it happened naturally as we got older and weren't so spacey that they had to prompt us to confirm that we were actually listening to them.

[Vlad!]

Interesting...I was definitely the definition of space cadet as a child (no comment about now), but I don't recall my parents ever requiring me to acknowledge their words. Maybe they were more laid back, or maybe it was more obvious when I wasn't paying attention (or maybe they just assumed I was almost never paying attention and just repeated themselves a lot).

[enemy anemone]

this thread made me think about the conventional wisdom that "people like to hear their names". I don't like being addressed by not-my-name, but I also don't like to hear my name unnecessarily. it feels weird when someone is talking to me and sporadically inserts my name. it's like I'm in trouble for something, or I don't know what.

[Vlad!]

I tend to do that when I want to make sure I have the person's attention. But I know what you mean. I have a friend who will randomly decide to address me by name in the middle of a sentence for no apparent reason. It's kind of weird.

[Rough Draft]

Maybe they're doing that to make sure you're paying attention, like the parents. Though it would be difficult to tell with a name like "Vlad!"

[Vlad!]

Yeah, it's especially awkward because they have to yell it to get the ! at the end.

[chrisnu]

I encounter the "Miss __" frequently at church. I'm not sure how that got started. I don't say anything about it, but I don't address people I know that way.

I also don't use people's first names other than to get their attention. I don't mention their name again until, perhaps, when the conversation is over. I know people who use saying people's names as a device to manipulate them, through their apparent friendliness, and I don't like that one bit.

I was also taught to address my aunts and uncles as "Aunt __" or "Uncle __", and I still do that, simply out of respect.

[RedcoatJones]

I must be an old-school throwback. I was taught to say sir and ma'am to adults when I was a kid, and even now, I'm known as Mr. David to some of the younger kids at church. I always saw it as a respect/courtesy thing and have never been bothered by it. I address my friends/peers/coworkers/etc. by their first name, but there have been times when I'll refer to someone I don't know as well by a more formal title. This is especially true at weddings of friends where I may not know their parents and family as well.

[dgp11776]

I encounter the "Miss __" frequently at church. I'm not sure how that got started. I don't say anything about it, but I don't address people I know that way.

  You're a woman?  I always thought you were a guy.

On topic, I call people ma'am and sir on a fairly regular basis.  As far as what they call me, I don't care if it's Daniel, Dan, Mr. Petterson, Mr. Daniel, sir, dude, D, lummox, schlemiel, etc.

[ajyouthguy]

it doesn't bother me necessarily, but i have never really cared for being called "Bro. Alan" by the youth.  i certainly don't get on them for it when they do, because it is definitely a respect thing that is becoming rarer and rarer, but i'd just as soon be called Alan or Al or AJ or something like that.  i'm more comfortable with the "Bro. Alan" thing now at 34 and 11 years into this, though, than I was when I started at 23 or so.

[chrisnu]

  You're a woman?  I always thought you were a guy.

Oh! Haha, yes, I'm a guy. I'm saying that the women at my church often refer to each other as "Miss". Even when they're married, actually. I've never had anyone call me "Mister", and I don't address anyone that way. The only people at church whom I address with a title are the pastors.