I like it a lot. It has some really good, honest words.
Song writing tends to diverge from traditional poetry a bit, and even modern poetry doesn't follow what were once held to be pretty firm guidelines. But one thing you might try to produce a more 'consistent' feel to your poems is shoot for a steady meter and approximately the same number of syllables on corresponding lines. It's hard to say how exactly to do this, and many of the great poets ignored these 'rules' when they didn't suit them, but it's just a thought
Either way, I enjoy your work.
