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Vlad!
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« on: January 06, 2010, 12:28:41 PM » |
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The "fortunes" in fortune cookies are pretty weaksauce. For as long as I can remember, the fortunes have generally been more like aphorisms than fortunes, per se, in that they don't generally tell you what will happen to you so much as make some general statement about life.
A houseguest and I went to a Chinese place for lunch a few days ago. My fortune was "Temptation resistant is the true measure of character.", which I agree with, though the grammar fail kind of spoils the mood. My friend's fortune was "Fortune not found. Abort, retry, ignore?", to which I remarked "I guess they're not even trying any more?
I think my favorite fortune I've gotten was "you are a lover of words. You should write a book". I like to think of myself as a lover of words and I like to think that there are people somewhere hoping that I will write a book, but if there are such people they are surely not people who have actually read what I have to say.
(My former roommate, were he here, would take this opportunity to point out that I write a book every time I compose an e-mail, though since his idea of a lengthy e-mail is one that contains more than one sentence I think he's a little biased in that regard).
I read, though this is quite possibly an urban legend, that fortune cookies stopped containing actual fortunes a few decades ago, when people would have unfortunate things happen to them and somehow manage to ascribe those to the fortunes they received in their cookies (for instance, a person might get "you will meet a tall, mysterious stranger for an unexpected liaison" and then two weeks later would get mugged). Since there are only so many ways to say "you are going to have a totally sweet future", they decided to go with vague statements that sound like a mixture between king Solomon and Confucius.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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RedcoatJones
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« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2010, 10:23:30 AM » |
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I recently got the fortune, "You will travel long distances for business." I have to go to Philly on Monday. Does that count?
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bethany
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« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2010, 12:35:37 PM » |
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Last night I got one that said "Fame and fortune are in your future." Lame, but at least it is a fortune.
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Vlad!
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« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2010, 01:59:33 PM » |
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I wonder if the fortune you got from the cookie counts as the fortune that's in your future.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2010, 02:07:17 PM » |
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"fame for this fortune cookie is in your future."
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bethany
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« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2010, 03:20:16 PM » |
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I wonder if the fortune you got from the cookie counts as the fortune that's in your future.
Only for the instant before I read it... |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2010, 04:30:48 PM » |
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Only for the instant before I read it...
So does the fortune take effect only after you read it, or when you take possession of the fortune cookie? |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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NewDimension
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« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2010, 09:01:04 PM » |
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The last fortune I got said, "You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home."
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Vlad!
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« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2010, 02:49:48 PM » |
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Speaking of fortunes in fortune cookies...
At our company, we celebrated the Chinese New Year last Friday (why? I'm not sure. The actual date is still a few weekends away.) Part of this celebration included mass amounts of fortune cookies.
I got a fortune that reads "There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you". A prospect of a thrilling time? Does driving to the grocery store on icy roads this weekend count? But a friend pointed out that I should get several of these fortunes printed up and give them out as pickup lines. Obviously, my phone number would be on the back. For extra style points, have them actually inserted into wrapped fortune cookies.
Me: Hey, baby.
Me: *hands her slip of paper*
Her: *reads slip of paper, then looks at me*
Me: *suggestive eyebrow waggle*
OK, so besides the fact that I rarely frequent the traditional venues for pickup lines, I thought this was a hilarious idea. I figured I would put this out on the Internet with my blessing in the hopes that one day someone more desperate than I (hopefully not my future self in five years) will use it with hilarious effect.
If you do, get video.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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NewDimension
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« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2010, 07:45:22 PM » |
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Today I got the fortune, "Don't let friends impose on you, work calmly and silently." All the fortunes I get seem to have this smilely also,  . |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2010, 10:28:21 PM » |
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"Don't let friends impose on you. Impose on them first"
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #11 on: February 28, 2010, 02:33:17 PM » |
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(I thought this on-again, off-again conversation deserved its own thread...) I got my new favorite fortune of all time today. I scanned it because I figured it would be too hard to believe otherwise:  It says "You will soon achieve perfection". I think most people at the table found it amusing because I seem like the one most likely to believe that I have achieved perfection. |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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murlough23
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« Reply #12 on: February 28, 2010, 06:10:23 PM » |
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It says "You will soon achieve perfection". What would be really hilarious would if that had been misspelled. The best fortune I ever got (at a Mongolian BBQ restaurant) said "Trust him, but keep your eyes open." Interestingly, I live very close to a veritable Disneyland of Chinese restaurants - the real deal since the local area is heavy on recently immigrated Chinese - and their meals don't come with fortune cookies. |
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #13 on: February 28, 2010, 06:37:36 PM » |
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"if you can believe it, you can archive it!"
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Vlad!
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« Reply #14 on: April 01, 2010, 12:45:09 PM » |
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Today at lunch, my fortune cookie said:
"Place special emphasis on old friendship."
My friend's said:
"Now is the time to cultivate new friends."
The fortune cookies need to get their stories straight.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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Vlad!
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« Reply #15 on: May 17, 2010, 08:43:46 PM » |
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I received my new second-favorite fortune yesterday (my favorite, of course, being this one. It said "You have a heart of gold". Not exactly a fortune, but I was amused by it. |
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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NewDimension
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« Reply #16 on: May 18, 2010, 07:38:09 PM » |
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A couple months ago I found out that my cousin was going to stay at my house for a while, and the same night I opened a fortune cookie that said:
"Happy events wiil take place shortly in your home."
The next day my cousin came over and I opened another fortune cookie which said:
"Soon, a visitor shall delight you."
Fortune cookies are so amusing!
And today I got one that said: "You should do well at making money and holding on to it."
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« Last Edit: May 18, 2010, 07:39:59 PM by NewDimension »
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Vlad!
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« Reply #17 on: June 11, 2010, 01:39:13 PM » |
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My friends went to a Chinese place today, and when they came back they gave me a fortune cookie slip that says "handsome is as handsome does". This certainly falls into the category of vague aphorisms rather than fortunes, but I was certainly amused.
(Another friend of mine will take fortunes and embed them in clear resin to make pendants or bracelets out of them. I'm going to have to borrow her molds someday to immortalize some of these ones I have lying around).
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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NewDimension
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« Reply #18 on: August 31, 2010, 11:15:59 PM » |
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I just got this fortune, and I think it is highly amusing considering the fortune itself.
"You may lose the small ones but win tne big ones."
The above typo--if the spelling wasn't intentional--was contained within the fortune.
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #19 on: August 31, 2010, 11:26:31 PM » |
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 I wonder if it is supposed to be "the big ones" or "ten big ones". |
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Vlad!
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« Reply #20 on: September 03, 2010, 07:57:18 AM » |
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So far I have gotten two kinds of fortunes I like: those which say very complimentary (if wildly untrue) things about me as a person, and those which embody profound truths which I happen to agree strongly with. The one I got recently is one of the second variety:
"A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever"
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #21 on: October 08, 2010, 08:06:47 PM » |
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"A person with a determined heart frightens problems away."
boo!
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enemy anemone
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« Reply #22 on: October 23, 2011, 04:35:44 PM » |
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today I have the questionable fortune of posting three questionable fortunes:
A goal is a dream with a deadline.
People rise to your expectations.
Playing safe is only playing.
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Vlad!
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« Reply #23 on: October 23, 2011, 09:36:07 PM » |
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I got a completely lame-o fortune the other day; I didn't even bother to keep it. I think it said something like "people are drawn to you for advice and leadership", which isn't really a fortune at all.
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If you don’t have freedom as a principle, you can never see a reason not to make an exception. There are constantly going to be times when for one reason or another there’s some practical convenience in making an exception.
rms
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NewDimension
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« Reply #24 on: January 27, 2012, 06:05:35 PM » |
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Today was a fortunate day. I had lunch with my mom and she brought Chinese food and cake. After devouring the Chinese food, I opened the fortune cookie to discover this fortune:
"A nice cake is waiting for you."
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