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PhAQ
The Phorum
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The Arts
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Literature
(Moderators:
Josh
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Vlad!
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new poem
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Topic: new poem (Read 187 times)
cbluejays
Phorum Phriend
Posts: 364
new poem
«
on:
October 22, 2003, 10:10:21 PM »
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Skrappybiskit
Phorum 1k Member
Posts: 1018
new poem
«
Reply #1 on:
October 25, 2003, 09:39:03 PM »
Ah I had to read this a couple times, but I like it
Skraps
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DaxBlog : Stuff Every Warm Blooded Iguana Should Know
Also, DaxBlogPoetics : The Writings[/font]
cbluejays
Phorum Phriend
Posts: 364
new poem
«
Reply #2 on:
October 25, 2003, 10:54:34 PM »
glad you like it...I basically wrote it about a week ago, as my newspaper class and I were heading on a four hour trip to a convention, and since we left so early, I got to see the sun rise...so while I was just watching that, I got the thought, "If the sun knew everything that went on in this earth, I wonder if it would want to continue to rise every morning"...anyways, I wish I could have expressed that thought better, but at least I tried...
and if it's not too much trouble, Skraps, I would be more than glad to take any constructive criticism...
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Skrappybiskit
Phorum 1k Member
Posts: 1018
new poem
«
Reply #3 on:
October 25, 2003, 11:27:19 PM »
I don't really have anything to say about the content of your poem... it's pretty well executed, though I wasn't toooo crazy about the last line. Maybe remove "glorious", but that could be just me.
On the other hand, it made me kind of crazy that some of the lines had beginning capitalizion for no apparent reason.
Skraps
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DaxBlog : Stuff Every Warm Blooded Iguana Should Know
Also, DaxBlogPoetics : The Writings[/font]
cbluejays
Phorum Phriend
Posts: 364
new poem
«
Reply #4 on:
October 25, 2003, 11:36:35 PM »
ah yes...that's because microsoft word capitalizes it automatically, so I just let it be...
maybe I should stop being lazy
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