A little situation

[Skrappybiskit]

Okay, I've had a bit of a situation with the elders of the church I have a membership in (Toronto Orhtodox Christian Reformed Churhc, and yes it's a mouthful). I've moved about 55 minutes in the opposite direction from my former house, so I'm about 45 minutes from TOCRC altogether.

Two days ago, the elders sent me an email--a very tersely worded email--informing me that they need to "meet" with me about the fact that I no longer attend the church. I replied, of course, that I'm in a new area now, and I'm looking for a more local church that I can be a member of, so that I can be in a community, not a commute-ity.  Not only do they want an initial meeting, but they also want to have a home visitation in November, a time and date they set and said they "expect me to make this work".

In spite of my email, I think they're going to insist on a meeting, of which I've already had 3 in the past. Not fun, not fun at all. Let's just say that me and TOCRC differ on a lot of things, from dress to music to lifestyle and back again.

But now I wonder what I should do; should I go through with the meeting, and the home visit, or should I transfer my membership to the local Presbyterian church I've been attending, or alternately, withdraw my membership altogether?

Skraps

[Vlad!]

Wow, that seems a little startling. I know a church is a community, but siccing the gestapo on you seems a little harsh.

Frankly, I've never been much of a 'joiner.' I attend services, but I don't really consider myself a 'member' of any church other than the church of Christ. The one time I indicated any interest in joining anything (Campus Crusade for Christ, as it turns out), they started megastalking me and they still sometimes send some door-knockers over to drag me off to one of their meetings.

My point (sorry to start randomly talking about me there...) is that I think the purpose of church is to fellowship, worship, and mutually build one another up. If you are in constant conflict with the leadership of this church, I don't see how any of those goals can be achieved. If I were in your situation, I would meet with them, explain my reasons for leaving, and amicably (on my part, at least) take my leave of them. Hopefully that would be the end of it.  

[enemy anemone]

wow, sorry to hear about the situation with that church.
I think it would be good to do what Vlad! would do, if possible, but I'm afraid if I were in your situation I would just withdraw my membership and not meet with the elders and if they pester me I would tell them to leave me alone. okay, well, I might try to write a polite letter first explaining whatever I felt I should explain. if meeting with them is such an unpleasant ordeal, I wouldn't want them to come to my house. if I felt I should meet with them, I would probably ask to meet at the church building or somewhere else. but the first thing I would do is withdraw my membership. while I don't know about the church and the leadership, I can imagine that since you are still technically a member, they could think they have some kind of jurisdiction over your soul or whatever and since they are concerned about your ways or whatever, it is their duty to God to earnestly exhort you or whatever.
anyway, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. seems like issues with church people are often more unpleasant and difficult than issues with non-church people.  

[Skrappybiskit]

I can imagine that since you are still technically a member, they could think they have some kind of jurisdiction over your soul or whatever and since they are concerned about your ways or whatever, it is their duty to God to earnestly exhort you or whatever.

Thanks Vlad and Schil for the replies... especially since Vlad thinks so much like me on this one

But, yes, you're right. They do have jurisdiction over my sould, and if I'm reading the Bible correctly, they have full responsibility for what happens to me as much as I myself do. But then again it makes no sense to me that they should be responsible for my soul when I have almost no contact with them, and attend no church functions, and honestly have no desire to do so. At the end of the day, I'm not only withdrawing my membership in order to escape "pestering" by the "gestapo" but also so that the council that is requesting the meeting is no longer going to be judged neglegent in any way. So they can say "we did as much as we can", and leave it at that.

But you're rich, Schill, church partings tend to be a little more fraught with heartache than other partings. It's kind of like a divorce, when you think of it that way... I just never vowed to "have and to hold in sickness and in health till death do us part" my former church

Skraps

[smartash]

wow, thats really kind of creepy scrappy!
i'd think a church would be more understanding if you moved an hour away! that'd be funny if my parent's church at home insisted on "meeting" with me because i no longer attend regularly-- since i'm off at school! people are crazy sometimes!

[Iris]

okey dokey, that's wierd man..  the church mofia is out to get you.

I can understand if your church is concerned, but you've clearly explained your absence, and it seems like quite a legitimate reason to me.

.. but really, what can they do about it?