Product Design

[Skrappybiskit]

Alright, some things all you product developers should think about.

Stop creating products with dust-catching designs. Why is it that my PS2 has like a billion plastic ridges on it? Why does a dishwasher have so many crevices? Why does my sterio resemble the Alps? C'mon, this isn't so hard. Make things smoother and button-less. Please.

Stop creating cheap kitchen fixtures that involve drilling a hole in your cheap laminate countertop and then screwing in a stainless steel fixture. Make the darn thing flush with the counter so that it's easy to clean!

Make a CD holder that actually holds the CDs straight. Not at 20 degree angles. If this is impossible, fire your little Chinese engineer.

Make things wireless. Make them interconnect. Invent a wireless device communication protocol that everyone can use, so that my Palm can talk to my hub which can talk to my computer, sterio, microwave, toaster -- whatever! Don't make me plug my palm into my computer so I can send the proprietary file to another similarly-equipped computer. And goodness knows how I'll get it into my toaster.

If you must make a tall cup, make it have a heavier base than a short cup. It's called "centre of gravity". Ask the Ford Explorer for help.

Stop making things out of particle board. Particle board falls apart at the first opportunity. Building something out of particle board is like letting a schitzophrenic run Toronto. Oh. We already do that.

If you're going to make a chair, make a chair that can support 240lbs of me. All of it. At one time.

Don't build tables out of glass. Building a table of out glass is like building two really high office buildings and letting any old Arab on nearby planes.

Make garbage cans BIG! Big enough to fit lots of garbage in! Because people don't like to change the garbage every day! Really!

Build an alarmclock that makes actual sense. One that a person can set without having a doctorate. I don't think this is difficult. Also, make it smooth so dust doesn't get trapped on/in it.

Why not make a car that has no buttons? Like instead of moving plastic thing, why not have the surface of the radio react to latent bodily electricity, so you can adjust the volume by just touching the thing? The, when you want to clean it, you just run your cloth over it, and you're done. Oooooh. Good idea. Quick, call GM!

Why not ditch this whole CD thing already? I mean, let's write data onto something that I can easily damage while removing it? Is this what a sane person might do, when you could write the same thing to an inexpensive chip the size of my fingernail?

Anyways, these are some things I want done. Soon. Have a good night, all.

Skraps

[Vlad!]

Make things wireless. Make them interconnect. Invent a wireless device communication protocol that everyone can use, so that my Palm can talk to my hub which can talk to my computer, sterio, microwave, toaster -- whatever! Don't make me plug my palm into my computer so I can send the proprietary file to another similarly-equipped computer. And goodness knows how I'll get it into my toaster.

I have a pair of wireless headphones, and I both love and hate them. Sometimes I can walk down the hall and use the restroom whilst listening to my music, and other times it fades in and out of static while I'm lying on my loft, head about two meters away from the transmitter. So make things wireless, and make them work. Work right. All the time. And secure, since if I'm zipping all my sensitive information through the air, someone shouldn't be able to snatch it if I don't want them to.

Build an alarmclock that makes actual sense. One that a person can set without having a doctorate. I don't think this is difficult. Also, make it smooth so dust doesn't get trapped on/in it.

Your time-setting devices have 'forward' buttons. Would it kill you to install a 'back' button? If I am getting impatient moving the minutes counter from 00 to 45 and I accidentally bypass 45, I do not want to go all the way around again. In fact, I want to be able to press back for 1/3rd as long and get to 45 from 00. And make sure it's seeable by blind people. Few, if any, sleep with glasses or contacts on.

Why not ditch this whole CD thing already? I mean, let's write data onto something that I can easily damage while removing it? Is this what a sane person might do, when you could write the same thing to an inexpensive chip the size of my fingernail?

Since we all know CDs aren't going away, why not allow them to be encased in plastic like minidiscs? Especially DVDs, since they're many times more likely to be damaged? I want to have a freaking plastic square that encases the media at all times. Not just while it is in storage and not being scratched anyway.

I want resizable cords. My life is full of cords. Merely plugging in my speakers involves more cords than I want to have to deal with in my entire life. So while you're working on the wireless thing, give me the ability to resize my cords to be just long enough but not too long or too short. That way, you can give me a four-meter cord without worrying that it will be too long for my needs, since I can always resize it.